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提高作文感染力的方式

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高考英语写作除了要求考生书写规范、卷面整洁、词数适当、语言得体、要点全面以外,表达上“清晰达意”被视为基本要求。但是,考生若能灵活运用“变式”表达手法,运用复合句、固定句型、特殊句式及固定结构使句子的呈现形式“新颖别致”,便更能吸引阅卷老师的眼球,得分会更高。在文章的架构上,适当运用相应的“层递词(也称过渡词)”,会使作品层次井然,严谨规整,更加生辉溢彩。

一、运用以下“变式”手段可以提升作品的语言风采,增强感染力

1. 运用复合句表情达意,使行文句式多变,错落有致。英语中的复合句主要包括状语从句、定语从句及名词性从句三大类。运用时要遵从“适时、实用、灵活”的原则,不宜造结构层次过于复杂的长难句。同学们在复习备考过程中,首先要精通相关的语法知识,其次要进行足量的英汉互译练习,提高英汉互译能力,最后,在写作训练中灵活运用相关的复合句进行变式表达,练就举一反三的表达能力。

原句:In the past years,many people have died from lung cancer caused by smoking. (简单句,通俗易懂)

修改:Smoking contributes to lung cancer, from which many people have died in the past years.(非限制性定语从句,句式灵活)

2. 灵活运用常用句型、固定句式,提升表达档次,凸显写作实力。常用的句型、固定句式有:it作形式主语或形式宾语句型,it强调句型,there be句型,not only ... but also,either ... or,neither ... nor等。其中,it的句型最多,在写作时应用最广泛,同学们在备考时要加强积累和运用。

原句:Students often play games and send messages to each other with their mobile phones, and it wastes their much time. (并列句,重复单调)

修改:It is a waste of time for students to play games and send messages to each other by mobile phone. (it作形式主语,紧凑规整)

3. 适当运用倒装句,避免陈述句运用频繁导致的单一、呆板之感,增强行文活力。在倒装句中,so ... that的倒装句型、only后跟副词 / 介词短语 / 状语从句的倒装结构、not ... until的倒装结构最常用。

原句:We can keep up with the pace of social development by reading extensively. (陈述语序,平淡无奇)

修改:Only when we read extensively can we keep up with the pace of social development.(倒装语序,重点突出)

原句:I was so excited that I couldn’t wait to try my hand at riding my new bike. (陈述语序,语气舒缓)

修改:So excited was I that I couldn’t wait to try my hand at riding my new bike.(倒装语序,凸显气势)

4. 适时运用简化、省略、替代手法,使行文紧凑,言简意赅,表达给力。简化手段主要用于分词(包括现在分词和过去分词)词组作状语时。省略手段主要用于:当从句主语与主句主语一致,且从句的谓语由be构成时,从句的主语及be动词可以省略。替代通常指it / that / ones的承前替代,do / does / did的承前替代,so用于think / suppose / expect / believe / imagine / hope / fear / guess / be afraid 等之后的承前替代,if any / if so / if not 的替代用法等。写作时,同学们要根据具体情况灵活运用上述写作手法。

原句:When we use an iPad,we can listen to music,download a lot of learning materials and read them on the screen. (主从复合句,冗长疏松)

修改:Using an iPad,we can listen to music,download a lot of learning materials and read them on the screen.(分词词组作状语,简洁紧凑)

原句:When I was walking along the street yesterday,I came across a car accident. (主从复合句,惯常表达)

修改:When walking along the street yesterday,I came across a car accident.(时间状语从句的省略用法,意思明确)

原句:Some experts and teachers think listening test in the National Matriculation English Test should be canceled and I think it should be canceled,too.(并列句,单调冗余)

修改:Some experts and teachers think listening test in the National Matriculation English Test should be canceled and I think so.(so替代前文相同内容,言简意赅)

二、运用以下“连缀”方式可以优化作品的行文架构,提升作品魅力

1. 巧用篇章结构“层递词”,使文章结构错落有致,浑然一体。尤其是议论文写作,考生依据论点、结合论据进行逐层论证时,层递词是必不可少的,否则会给人一种“杂乱无章”之感,高考阅卷老师在阅卷时非常注重这一点。

表示并列关系:and,also,as well,too,either,as well as,not only ... but also, either ... or,neither ... nor,not ... but,some ... others,the former ... the latter,etc.

表示层次关系:first,second,and third;first of all,secondly,thirdly,besides,finally;for one thing,for another;on the one hand... ,on the other hand ...,etc.

表示因果关系:since,as,so,because (of),now that,in that,thanks to,due to,owing to,therefore,as a result of,result from,etc.

表示条件关系:if,unless,once,only if,without,on the condition that,as / so long as, supposing,providing,in case,otherwise,etc.

表示转折关系:but,however,yet,while,nevertheless,on the contrary,even so,etc.

表示让步关系:though,although,in spite of,despite,regardless of,even though / if,etc.

表示举例列举:for instance,for example,like,such as,namely,take ... for example, etc.

表示归纳总结:on the whole,in conclusion,in a word,in brief,in summary,in short, all in all,at last,in general,eventually,after all,to sum up,etc.

2. 适当使用with的复合结构、独立主格结构,亮点呈现,令人夸赞。with的复合结构及独立主格结构实质上是状语从句的“变式”运用,属于高级表达。同学们在备考时必须熟悉这两类特殊语法结构的特点及用法,利用英汉互译练习进行强化巩固,写作时要适时使用。若运用不熟练,可用相应的状语从句代替,不可强求,以免弄巧成拙,导致扣分。

原句:Because so many people communicate with mobile phones every day,it will become more and more important to have a good knowledge of mobile phones.(主从复合句,不够紧凑)

修改:With so many people communicating with mobile phones every day,it will become more and more important to have a good knowledge of mobile phones.(with的复合结构,简洁高级)

原句:After we spend our high school life,most of us will enter universities or colleges for a higher education.(主从复合句,一般表达)

修改:High school life over,most of us will enter universities or colleges for a higher education.(独立主格结构,新颖别致)

当然,运用上述方式提升作品感染力的同时,还要牢记写作规范。为了方便同学们记忆,特编制顺口溜如下:细审题,辨体裁,定人称,明时态;写日记,同汉语;写书信,套格式;图表题,研图细,写人记事按顺序;演讲稿,口语化,语言通俗须得体;议论文,重层次,“三段论”模式须牢记;词数要求是根本,适当发挥须扣题。高考阅卷具有“限时限量”的要求,阅卷时阅卷老师通常以圈定“写作要点”为主,要点全面,表述正确即达到二类卷资格。若篇章结构严谨,且行文高级表达运用恰到好处,则一类卷非你莫属。(责任编校 彭益)