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以广州一模为例谈如何扩充行文

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2017年广州一模书面表达,要求考生写一封邀请信,邀请姐妹学校参加龙舟赛,写作内容有三点:(1)写信目的;(2)活动时间、地点和意义;(3)回复时间。

本次广州一模阅卷场上发现如下普遍存在的问题:

(1)有的考生拓展内容不够,联想不够,导致写作卷面只写了一半却已经完成了整篇文章的写作内容,内容显得空洞,通常这一类文章,评分基本会在12到13分左右。

(2)有时考生没有认真审题,偏题,写了很多无关的介绍,例如,在写活动意义的时候,有同学写了端午节的由来,比赛的规则,比赛的注意事项。龙舟节当天的活动,介绍了屈原曲折的一生等。也有同学写了以往中国传统龙舟节的意义,并不是当次所组织的活动的意义。还有个别同学对活动意义的观点比较肤浅,写了可以让考生欣赏沿途的风景。很明显,很多同学都是为了凑字数完成写作,并没有真正明白合理增加的实际操作。本文将结合2017年广州一模书面表达阅卷场上所发现的问题,谈谈如何在书面表达中发挥联想,合理增加细节,以使行文连贯。

1. 使用复合句。

把题目给出的写作点作为主要信息来写,额外扩充的内容作为次要信息来写。例如,把题目给出的写作内容作为主句来写,把额外增加的内容作为从句或with的复合结构去补充说明主句内容,也可以在完成题目规定写作后,适当联想补充一句在后。这样既丰富了句子的内容,也充实了全文,而且不会出现走题、偏题的现象。例句:

(1)With the Dragon Boat Festival drawing near, I am writing on behalf of my school to invite you to take part in the Dragon Boat Race.(写信目的)

(2)As scheduled, the race is to be held on the Pearl River in Shamian in Guangzhou from May 25th to May 30, when competitors will strive for the first prize with all their effort.(活动时间、地点)

(3)The event aims to provide students with a chance to experience Chinese culture on their own, which helps stimulate students’ interest in Chinese traditional festivals as well.(活动意义)

(4)If you are interested in the race, please inform us of your decision before April 15th.

2. 使用形容词,修饰名词。

在通知、邀请信等与活动介绍相关的书面表达中,常常可以增加形容词修饰某项活动,如:a (an) interesting / meaningful / exciting / rewarding activity; a fierce / demanding / challenging competition /race等。

(1)With the traditional Dragon Boat Festival being around the corner, our school intends to hold a Dragon Boat Race, and I’m writing to invite Cambridge High School to take part in the upcoming event. (信目的)

(2)The meaningful event provides students with a precious opportuning to build up teamwork spirit, and at the same to encourage students to take up the responsibility of carrying forward the Chinese tradition. (活动意义)

3. 考虑是否扩充书信的开头和结尾,符合得体性、交际性原则。

根据情境意识,部分书面表达考虑是否需要额外增加开头或结尾。书信类应用文,一般在首段写明活动背景和写信目的,起到统领全文以及避免走题的作用。本次广州一模第一个写作点便是写信目的,因此在写写信目的时,额外补充活动背景(学校即将举行龙舟赛)即可。关于结尾部分,书信写作一般根据情景使用一些客套性的语句,委婉地结尾。若题目给出的最后一个写作点不能作为书信的客套性结尾,考生可以结合书信开头以及常识,自行联想增加书信的结尾。以本次广州一模为例,如果以“回复时间”作为全文结尾,文章便显得不够得体, 因此在完成全文写作后额外增加一句“期待参加、期待收到回复”作为全文结尾,最后一段可写成:We would appreciate it if you could inform us of your decision before April 15th. Looking forward to your reply and I am convinced that your participation will make the race more meaningful and competitive.

4. 善于总结积累。

根据提纲式的写作要点,结合实际生活,发散思维联想曾写过的文章,选定合适的观点以充实文章。平时在做阅读理解时,或在阅读写作范文时,都可关注对于某一话题的写作应该如何适当增加细节,并把好词好句积累下来,留待日后使用。

此外,课本的话题也是很好的积累素材。以下句子取自必修三第一单元Festival around the world,稍作修改后便可运用到本次广州一模的写作中。以下是对本次写作有启发意义的课文原句:Festivals are held to celebrate ... , Festivals are meant to ... , Festivals can also be held to honour famous people. The Dragon Boat Festival in China honours the famous ancient poet, Qu Yuan. People love to get together to eat, drink and have fun with each other. Festivals let us enjoy life, be proud of our customs and forget our work for a little while.

平时积累后,在考场便可通过简单改写,使符合写作要求了。以下划线部分是课本文章中出现过的语言表达。

(1)The Dragon Boat Race is meant to celebrate the traditional Chinese festival in honour of the famous poet, which enables students to feel proud of the Chinese customs in the meantime.

书面表达写作难度不高,但如何写好一篇文章,而不是仅仅满足于写完一篇文章,还需要考生在平时下苦工去积累、归纳、揣摩、运用。积累短语、观点等语言素材,为合理增加文章细节作好充分的准备。同时,也要注重对校园生活和社会生活等话题的积累,遇到相关或类似的写作话题时,便可充分发挥联想能力,合情合理地扩充内容。