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I have many hobbies, such like① sports, singing, and reading books.
In school, I often hear the P.E. teacher say that sports do good to our health, and will make us live longer. So, I like sports very much. I begin running at six o’clock in the morning. And after classes in the afternoon, I often play pingpong with my friends. Sports can keep me healthy.
At home, I like to sing and play violin②. I hope I will be a singer or a violinist when I grow up. In order to attain the goals, I go to the teacher’s home for lessons every Saturday, and practice every day. Although I am very busy, but③ I am quite happy.
Of all my hobbies I like reading books best. In my bedroom there are nearly two hundreds④ books. There are storybooks, textbooks, magazines, and others. When I grow up, I will serve people with knowledge I have learned from books.
山东省梁山县杨营中学初一 刘英豪
于莹 1992年毕业于山东师范大学,中学高级教师,
梁山县优秀教师,曾获市级优质课一等奖,一直担任初中英语的教学工作,连续多年在中考中取得优异成绩。2012年12月在山东省英语竞赛中荣获优秀指导教师称号。先后在《中学生英语》、《山东教育导报》、《现代中学生》、《初中生英语学习》、《英语辅导报》、《英语周报》、《学生导报》、《新课堂》等国家级、省级报刊上发表教学论文三十多篇。
【栏目要求】
1. 根据中考分值给出学生习作的成绩; 2. 划出应修改的地方并标注序号;
3. 根据所标序号进行修改并说明修改的理由; 4. 给学生习作点评<优点与不足>;
5. 请点评名师提供简历一份,包括:学校、职务、 职称、荣誉、教研教学成果、照片一张。
来稿请寄: 430079 华中师范大学外国语学院《中学生英语》 杂志社 收
点评
1. 优点:
全文语言准确,用词恰当,层次清楚,行文流畅,是一篇值得推荐的学生习作。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①like改为as,such as意为“例如……”;
②加上the,play加乐器时,要用the;
③去掉but,although 和but不可连用;
④hundreds去掉s。hundred前面有具体数字时,后面不加s。
3. 评分:
按中考英语作文满分15分的评分标准,本文修改前可得12分。