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趣味英语 第10期

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Cabbage

A rabbit hops into a butchers' shop and says "have you got any cabbages?" The butcher says that he doesn't sell cabbages and the rabbit hops off. The next day the same rabbit hops into the same butchers' shop and says "have you got any cabbages?" The butcher, slightly peeved, says "look, I told you yesterday - I'm a butcher, I don't sell cabbages, now piss off!" The rabbit hops off.

The next day the rabbit hops into the butchers' shop again and says "have you got any cabbages?" The butcher, completely pissed off now, snaps "No I haven't got any chuffin cabbages! If you come in here again asking for some cabbages, I'm gonna nail your bloody ears to the floor!" The rabbit is scared by this and quickly hops out the door.

The next day the rabbit hops into the butchers' shop and asks "have you got any nails?"The butcher replies "no". The rabbit says "have you got any cabbages?"

Little Johnny

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

卷心菜

一只兔子蹦蹦跳跳地进入了一家肉店,说道:“你这儿有卷心菜吗?”屠夫说他不卖卷心菜,兔子就蹦蹦跳跳地离开了。过了一天,这只兔子又蹦蹦跳跳地进入了这家肉店,说道:“你这儿有卷心菜吗?”屠夫有点儿不高兴了,说道:“喏,我昨天跟你说了――我是个屠夫,我不卖卷心菜,马上滚开!”兔子蹦蹦跳跳地离开了。

过了一天,兔子又蹦蹦跳跳地进入了这家肉店,说道:“你这儿有卷心菜吗?”屠夫现在是完全生气了,大吼道:“没有,我这儿就没有什么该死的卷心菜!如果你再进来要卷心菜,我就把你那双该死的耳朵钉在地板上!”那只兔子被这个吓到了,迅速蹦跳出了大门。

过了一天,兔子蹦蹦跳跳地进入了这家肉店,问道:“你有钉子吗?”屠夫回答说“没有”。兔子说:“你这儿有卷心菜吗?”

小约翰

一位新来的老师想运用一下她所学的心理学课程。她一上课就说道:“谁认为自己笨,就站起来!”

几秒钟以后,小约翰站了起来。老师说:“你认为自己笨吗,小约翰?”

“不是的,夫人,不过我不想看着就你一个人在那里站着!”