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“隆族”春晚,孝行传家

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衢州市衢江区樟潭街道的93岁老人胡金凤,有子孙三代43人围绕身边,一家人和睦相处、亲密无间。最让人折服的,是她家已连续举办了10多年家庭春节晚会,那可是天下罕有的美事,具体而生动地体现了中华优秀伦理传统中最基本的准则――孝行传家。2016年12月,第一届“全国文明家庭”评选,胡金凤家庭名列当选的浙江省十户之首。

大年三十,开心晚会

每年春节是这个大家庭全体成员最开心的日子,大家从国内各地甚至国外赶回来,欢聚在老太太身边辞旧迎新。

年夜饭后,一年一度的家庭春节晚会准备开场。当此际,老太太早早坐在客堂正中,一遍遍催促大家,高兴得合不拢嘴。

五代44人悉数到场,就是一个颇大的场面,何况一个接一个的合唱、独唱、歌舞、诗朗诵、器乐演奏和书画演示等表演节目,还有击鼓传花、“萝卜蹲”、抢凳子等娱乐项目,纷纷登场。大家的欢声笑语连成一片。

这晚会每年都在老太太家里举行。起先是在下埠头村的老宅。过年了,家门口的大红灯笼、家里面的小红灯笼自然少不了,天花板上还挂满了1000个“福”字,意喻“千福之家”。

多才多艺的孙辈苏醒是晚会的策划人、主持人,已经有了较为成型的主持风格。开场了,他站在堂前正中,所有观众沿板壁三面围坐。音乐响起后,表演次序按“击鼓传花”的形式进行,谁都可能上台拿出绝活,谁都必须事先有所准备,当然谁都愿意好好露一手。不过,为了增加情趣,“演员”表演的并非是自己最擅长的,甚至正是弱项:鼓声一停,花儿一落,主持人有时会抽取出一张小纸片,上面写着的指定表演内容,恰好是“演员”最容易“现丑”的“短板”。可是,紧张和惊讶,引来的却是一片欢笑。

这晚会有好几个保留节目,每年必演,比如长子的即兴赋诗,比如次子的二胡独奏,比如小女的独唱,比如6个女儿的群舞等。不过,最感人至深的,是由9个兄弟姐妹围着轮椅上的老母亲唱《母亲》这首歌,尚未唱完,所有的子孙都流下热泪……

给老太太拜年,是晚会中最重要的一项内容。大家按辈分,每个人给老太太拜三拜,双手递上红包,表达祝福。老太太也早早备下43个红包,回送儿子媳妇、女儿女婿和诸孙辈每人一个,愿子孙们健康平安、家庭和睦、生活幸福!老太太的红包只有50元钱,但每个人把它看得很重,带回家珍藏起来,不舍得花掉,留作纪念。

遵守孝道,和睦向善

追溯这一体现家庭和睦、孝行满堂的活动的由来,有不少故事令人感动。

2002年,胡老太太的老伴苏裕隆去世。临终前,苏老人用最后一丝力气握紧拳头,意思清楚地告诉大家,一家人要和睦相处,互相帮助。围在病榻前的子女及孙辈们表示一定会永远铭记遵循:为了纪念,兄弟姐妹们取出父亲名字中的“隆”字,将整个大家庭取名为“隆族”。

据长子苏阳松回忆,当年“隆族”的生活有种种艰辛,但一家人无论遇到什么困难和矛盾,互相之间从不龃龉。他告诉笔者,在樟树潭行政村下埠头自然村的老宅后来扩大到13间房,每个小家庭回来,都有自己的房间。孙辈们逢寒暑假,都喜欢来这衢江畔休憩,更多的是来感受“隆族”特有的家风氛围。“只要进了老宅,最顽皮的孩子也会自然而然地变得尊敬长辈。”

在子孙眼里,老太太是个了不起的人。她自小勤劳、善良,出嫁后孝敬公婆、尊重丈夫。苏阳松感拥厮担骸澳盖姿倒,早年的她每天早上给我爷爷端茶、端洗脸水。稀饭烧好了,把最厚的给我父亲捞一碗,因为父亲是家里的劳力。然后是爷爷、奶奶的,再才是我们的,轮到自己就剩下汤水了。有一回母亲的脸浮肿了,这是因为她吃得太少太差,营养不良。”

而在次女苏婉英的记忆中,过去家里穷,孩子们的衣服都是母亲一针一线做出来的。需要补的衣服太多,缝到第二天鸡叫是常有的事。

老太太没念过书,却懂得很多为人之道。她经常说:“一根筷子一折就断,十根筷子百折不断。”“兄弟姐妹一条心,堂前中央出黄金。”“堂堂正正去做人,半夜不怕鬼敲门。”“勤俭持家,口吃肚算,三寸喉咙如海深。”这些点滴俗语,让贫苦中长大的子女们明白人生真谛。

“隆族”的每个成员都十分讲究孝顺,也讲究和睦向善。老太太身体还硬朗的那几年,子女们轮流陪她去各地旅游,到过十多二十个城市,82岁那年还去了缅甸。老太太80岁时腹部长了肌瘤,91岁时患上脑梗塞,在同时医治和子孙们的悉心照料下,病情都逐步改善、稳定。

家庭春节晚会是一年来“隆族”幸福快乐生活的高潮,也是众人践行孝悌的集中展现。

轮流伺候,尽心照料

以轮流伺候的方式照料母亲,是9个儿女坚持十数年的赡养之举。

苏阳松说,父亲去世后,兄弟姐妹专门开了一次家庭会议,讨论该怎样照料母亲的晚年生活,大家都抢着要赡养,但母亲不舍得离开老宅。讨论的结果是,兄弟姐妹轮流伺候母亲。

长女苏水英介绍,从父亲去世那年开始,老宅里就贴上了第一张9个儿女照料母亲的轮值表,一天换一人,一年换一表,如今的新宅墙上已是第15张了。这表排完一年而复始,中途哪家有事,可以自行与他家商量调班,但要保证每天有人陪伴老太太。笔者看到在新表的右下角有一行字:“母亲含辛茹苦地把我们带大,今天母亲年岁大了,我们要多陪陪她……”其孝意无需赘言。

笔者还了解到老太太枕边的座机设置了快捷拨号,按1是长子家的电话,按2是次子家的电话……

从2014年开始,轮值由白天改为24小时全天候。“母亲91岁那年动了一次手术,大家商量后决定,每天晚上也陪伴老母亲。”苏水英说,日夜值班,没有子女抱怨或者马虎,因为谁都把这事当成最大的事,放在首要位置。

“我们9个兄弟姐妹有各自的家庭,孙辈也有了,甚至孙辈也有了下一代,平时免不了被各种家庭事务缠住,身体渐渐吃不消了,但为了能让母亲有更好的照料,这几年我们专门请了保姆帮忙,可母亲身边还是应该有亲人在,这一规矩一直没有改变。儿子有事不能来、儿媳妇顶上,女儿不能来、女婿顶上,要不就孙辈顶上,谁都没有一句怨言。”苏婉英介绍。

陪伴、伺候老太太时,每个子女都会带上老太太爱吃的菜肴、水果、点心。除旧之夜和新春正日而外,元宵、清明、端午、中秋、重阳等传统节日,子女和孙辈们都一起来探视老太太,接着团团围坐,互问近况,交流感情,这种其乐融融的氛围是老太太最希望看到的、最让她开心的。每当此时,老太太坐在藤椅上,微笑地听着,眼光在每个人身上移动,充满爱怜,充满欣喜。

没错,一年一度的“隆族”春节晚会,便是这种互相交流、互致关爱,共同表达孝悌的高潮罢了。

最美家族,春晚更欢

“羊有跪乳之恩,鸦有反哺之义。”这句话苏阳松曾写在第一张轮值表下方,此后,也经常出现在“隆族”春节晚会的主持词中。

2008年,在孙辈苏醒的倡议下,家庭内部设立起“隆族基金”,由成员自愿出资,每人每年少则200元,多则500元,汇集起来供老太太使用。

“这一基金,一是解决了老人必需的各项日常生活支出和医疗、药物的费用问题,二是能让大家感觉到无论大事小事,自己都能为这个家出一份力。当年,‘隆族基金’还向四川汶川地震灾区捐了款。”苏醒是一名会计主管,对经费合理运作有经验。他说,这个基金迄今一直正常运转,并每年定期公布报表,各项费用包括春节晚会的费用开支清清楚楚。

苏醒还介绍,最初这一基金的集资对象是老太太的儿辈和孙辈,后来,部分第四代也纷纷参与进来,他们拿出自己的过年红包和零花钱,20元、50元、100元,一起为家庭出力。事实上,拿出多少钱是次要的,增强每个人尤其是小一辈的大家庭向心力,增强大家的责任感和义务意识,恪守孝道,学会团结互助,才是更重要的。

“隆族”的事迹传开后,社会各界赞誉不断。“隆族”于2014年荣获“全国最美家庭”称号,《人民日报》、中央电视台和省内主要新闻媒体都作过采访报道。央视记者感慨地评述:“在这个大家庭中,家的爱被放大了数倍,置身其中,就能感受到包围在身边的幸福。”

由于城市建设的需要,“隆族”老宅被拆除,2014年老太太迁居樟潭街道一处安居小区。其乐融融的春节晚会,不以搬迁新居而中止,2015年、2016年照常举办,2017年同样热热闹闹地进行。

有人曾问,“隆族”因何而“隆”?苏阳松坦率而自豪地回答,第一,人人善良,成T友爱;第二,母亲健在是中心,长兄为父做榜样;第三,充分协商、互相尊重、高度协作。他说,长辈带动后辈,坚守、弘扬和传承尊老爱幼、团结互助的精神,是我们“隆族”的传统,其中孝敬老人为根本,孝行传家方能懂得做人、方能幸福满堂。

(本文照片由作者提供)

“Prosperity” Clan Thrives in Love

By Sun Kan

Hu Jinfeng, now 93, lives in Qujiang District, Quzhou City in southwestern Zhejiang Province. She enjoys life in her evening years as the big family of 44 people in five generations are around for her.

Her husband passed away a long time ago. After his death, the ninechildren got together to discuss how to take care of their mother. Each of the nine wanted to get the mother to his or her own home, but the mother did not want to leave the old house in the village. So the brothers and sisters agreed to take turns at taking care of the mother. They put on a duty list on the wall and they have fulfilled the duty call faithfully all these years.

When the mother was still able to travel, thechildren took her to do sightseeing in more than 20 cities. At the age of 82, the mother visited Myanmar. But her health has deteriorated over years. At 80, she had a tumor in her belly. At 91, she suffered from cerebral infarction. But every time, she managed to turn around with effective medical treatment and care of her children and grandchildren.

Since 2014, that is, after the cerebral infarction, the children have developed a 24/7 care system. They take turns to come over and sleep in with their mother every night so that the mother would not feel lonely and would receive care.

The large clan is called 隆 (pronounced as Long, meaning Prosperity in Chinese) Clan as suggested by the mother. The word is part the given name of her late husband.

In 2008, the grandson Su Xing made a suggestion about setting up a foundation for the care of Hu Jinfeng. Family members responded warmly. Under the system, each donates an amount as they think appropriate. The fund covers daily expenses and pays medical bills. Moreover, making annual donations to the foundation makes everybody in the family happy and gives them a sense of participation and personal and individual involvement. In the initial year, the Prosperity Clan Foundation made a donation to the victims of the killer earthquake in May 2008. Su Xing, a financial chief, keeps the book. Under his supervision, the foundation works well. He makes a financial report at regular intervals so that every family member knows where the money goes and how much cash is left in the family foundation. At first, the donators were justchildren and grandchildren. Nowadays, some great grandchildren are grown-up enough to make their small contributions too.

On traditional festivals, the family always gets together around Hu Jinfeng to celebrate. On the eve of the Spring Festival, the family holds a gala show of its own. Family members rush in from all over the country, some even from overseas. After the dinner, the matriarch sits in the center of the hall urging people to find their seats and sit down, smiling from ear to ear. The spring festival celebration has been held for more than ten years. The gala celebration was first held at the old house in Xiabutou Village. Red lanterns were posted and pieces of paper presenting one thousand 福 (happiness and prosperity) characters was put on the ceiling. Family members put on their best performances. The program changes from year to year but there is a repertoire. The eldest son improvises a poem on the spot. The second son plays an instrument. The youngest daughter sings a song. And the six daughters do a dance. The most touching program is the song titled Mother, sung by the nine sons and daughters.

A key part of the Spring Festival gala show is the red-envelope cash presentation. All the family members knee to kowtow three times and then present their cash envelopes to Hu Jinfeng. The matriarch gives all the 43 family members a cash envelope, containing 50 yuan each.