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车祸后的全新人生

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April 14th, 2010. It was a beautiful, sunny spring morning in Vancouver, the first glimpse of summer, and a refreshing break from the relentless rain. Life was great. Life was going in all the exciting directions that I had been trying to steer it toward. With an offer from a professional Irish dance 1)troupe to tour North America as a dancer and 2)fiddler, a medal from the Irish Dance World Championships, and partway through a degree in 3)kinesiology, I was prepared for a career―or rather, a lifestyle―involving all of my passions. I was also arranging an extended cycling adventure to explore Iceland.

But on my bike ride to pick up some new tires for the summer journey, my entire life changed in an instant. One moment I was joyfully riding through the sunshine. The next moment, metal, flesh and bone were 4)smearing against the pavement in a thunderous crash. Another cyclist, biking 5)recklessly, had cut me off and sent me Supermanning toward oncoming traffic. In the years that followed, I would be forced not only to rearrange my whole life and learn how to live with 6)chronic pain, but also to redefine my identity.

As if to symbolize the devastation that had hit my life, another disaster on a much larger scale also occurred on April 14th, 2010. It cost the airline industry $1.7-billion (USD). Ten million travellers were stuck for days. Economies all over the world were disturbed, as their imported and exported goods could not be shipped. This was the 7)eruption of 8)Eyjafjallaj?kull, one of Iceland’s many volcanoes.

While the world’s air travel was disrupted, so was my own trip to the 9)Emerald Isle: Irish dancing would no longer exist in my life. The same goes for fiddling, outdoor passions, even good sleep and my social circle. You see, the cyclist who hit me―well, I knew him. He was my friend. This meant we had many mutual friends. Finding themselves in the middle of a fiery situation, they fled, and I felt the emptiness of the 10)crater that was left behind.

When Eyjafjallaj?kull erupted, destruction 11)ensued. However, volcanoes are not all bad. In fact, they are necessary. They are responsible for the birth of new earth, and the gases released were partially responsible for the creation of our atmosphere, 12)setting the stage for life itself.

This eruption released 0.15 million tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere daily. But cancelling 48% of the world’s flight travel saved an estimated 2.8 million tons of CO2 from entering the atmosphere, temporarily decreasing our 13)carbon footprint.

14)Debris 15)ejected from a volcano is called 16)tephra. Its addition to the ground makes for incredibly fertile soil. Volcanoes also bring valuable minerals closer to the Earth’s surface. Although an eruption can cost the economy, we rely on volcanic and 17)tectonic activity to sustain it.

Although the accident had negatively affected my emotional economy, it was necessary for its future growth and expansion. It allowed me to look more closely inside that empty crater and discover things about myself I never would have realized. I became more 18)compassionate, and learned that everyone has a powerful story even if it’s not immediately visible. In the midst of being judged for my reactions and decisions on how to move forward, I became less judgmental and also learned how not to judge myself for my new limitations. I built an internal identity, one not based on the activities I did, the job I had, or even the things I loved, but rather on my character traits and personality.

In 1973, another Icelandic volcano, Eldfell, was threatening the country’s biggest fishing port. When the 19)lava flow approached, Icelanders decided to bomb it with cold water until it froze and chose a different path. After their scheme worked, they used the geothermal energy for the next 15 years to heat their homes. An Icetastic example of 20)life bringing lemons, and making lemonade! When life brings 21)looming lava flows, make energy! I am by no means an expert in the art of beveragemaking. But if competitive athletics gave me anything that I can still carry with me throughout life, it is the awareness that one must move on from 22)mishaps, focusing only on the present moment and being hopeful for the future, to make the most out of any given situation.

Sometimes, volcanoes bring complete surprises. Take for example the 23)colossal eruption of Mount St. Helens in 1980. Spirit Lake, which had been suffocated in ash, quickly began to flourish with bacteria that cleansed the water. Conditions were favourable for them because of the abundance of organic material to feed on, and warm temperatures from the 24)pyroclastic flows. 25)Algae blooms allowed for rapid plant and animal growth and the astonishing self-healing of the land. No one expected this―scientists were stunned.

As for me, my life took a very 26)convoluted road. I ran from April 14th, 2010, to every kind of escape. I landed in the wildest of places, eventually ending up right where I started on that 27)earthshattering day: university. Only this time, it was for a new-found, old-found passion in Earth sciences. Life rarely goes as planned. And though it doesn’t make it any easier, sometimes what looks like an empty crater―a volcano that blew its heart out―is really just the space to grow, flourish and fill 28)from scratch with new, beautiful things.

2010年4月14日。那是温哥华市的一个阳光灿烂的美丽春晨,初见夏日的影踪,连绵不断的阴雨天稍事停顿,令人心旷神怡。生活如此美好。生活正向着我一直努力操控的各个令人激动的方向驶去。我手攥一份某个专业爱尔兰舞团的录取通知,得以作为一名舞者和小提琴手随其巡演北美,我还夺得了世界爱尔兰舞大赛的一块奖牌,同时还在攻读一个运动学的学位。那时的我正在为一份倾注自己所有热情的事业――也可以说是一种生活方式――做准备。不光如此,我还在着手安排一次探索冰岛的长途自行车冒险之旅。

但是在我骑车去为夏季旅行挑选一些新轮胎时,我的整个人生瞬间发生了彻底的改变。前一刻,我还在欢快地骑行在阳光之下。下一秒,在巨大的冲撞下,金属、血肉和骨头遍布人行道上。另一名鲁莽的骑车人将我撞翻,让我像超人般飞向了迎面而来的汽车上。在接下来的几年里,我不仅被迫要重新安排自己的人生,学习如何忍受长期的病痛,还要重新定义自己的身份。

仿佛是为了象征我的生活遭受了毁灭性打击一般,2010年4月14日还发生了另一场影响更广的灾难。航空业为此付出了17亿美元的代价。一千万名乘客被滞留了数日。全球的经济都受到了波及,因为进出口商品无法运送。因为埃亚菲亚德拉冰盖的火山喷发了,它是冰岛众多的火山之一。

在全世界的航空旅行都被打乱之际,我自己的绿宝石岛(即爱尔兰)之旅也不成行了:爱尔兰舞在我的生命中已不复存在。同样的,还有演奏小提琴、户外活动的爱好,甚至是良好的睡眠和我的社交圈。你知道吧,那个撞到我的骑车人――嗯,是我认识的。他是我的朋友。这也就意味着我们有着许多共同的朋友。当他们发现自己身处一个火爆局面之中时,就都纷纷逃走了,而我则感受到了火山口在喷发后所余留的空虚。

当埃亚菲亚德拉冰盖的火山喷发时,破坏接踵而来。但是,火山并不总是坏的。实际上,它们的存在是必要的。它们承担着开创新土地的责任,而释放出的气体则部分地造就了我们的大气层,为生命本身创造了条件。

这次喷发每天向大气释放了15万吨二氧化碳。但全世界48%的航班被取消,预计减少了280万吨的二氧化碳排入大气,暂时减少了我们的碳排放。

火山中喷出的岩屑被称为火山灰。它落入地面后会让土壤无比肥沃。火山还让珍贵的矿藏更为接近地表。虽然一场火山喷发会造成经济损失,我们却依靠火山活动和地壳构造运动来维持经济。

虽然这场事故为我的情感经济带来了负面影响,但对其未来的成长和扩展都是必要的。它令我能更近距离地观察自己如火山喷发过后那空荡荡的内心,并发现了自己很多以前从未意识到的事情。我变得更富有怜悯心,并认识到了每个人都有一个强大的故事,就算表面没有立刻显现。我对今后人生发展方向的反应及决定备受审视,在这些目光中,我变得不那么武断,并且学会了不因为自己新的局限而鄙夷自我。我在内心建起了一个新的身份,这个身份不受自己所从事的活动、工作,甚至是钟爱的事物左右,而是建基于性格特征和人格。

1973年,另一座冰岛火山埃尔德菲尔威胁着该国最大的渔港。当熔岩流逼近时,冰岛人决定用冰水轰炸,直到熔岩冷却,更改路径。计划奏效后,他们在其后15年里利用该地热来为房屋供暖。一个冰岛式的“当生活带给你又苦又涩的柠檬,就拿来做成酸甜可口的柠檬汁”的范例。当生活带来了不断迫近的熔岩流,就把它变成能源!我自己绝不是饮料制造艺术的专家。但如果说竞技体育给了我什么能够继续伴随一生的话,那就是一个人即便遇到了祸事,也要继续前进的认知,只专注于当下时刻,对未来充满希望,并在任何情况下做到最好。

有时候,火山会带来十足的惊喜。比如说,1980年圣海伦火山大爆发,在被火山灰所覆盖的灵湖里,细菌很快就繁盛起来,将湖水清理干净了。它们的生长条件之所以如此好,是因为有丰富的有机物取食,而火山灰流也使得水温升高。藻类的繁盛使得植物和动物快速生长,这片大地以惊人的速度自愈了。没人料想到这个现象――科学家们都目瞪口呆。

而对于我来说,我的生活走过了一段非常崎岖的路。我从2010年4月14日向各个方向逃离。我曾去过许多最为狂野的地方,最终落脚当日人生骤变的那个出发地:大学。只不过这一次,是把过去的热情全部倾注于现在的爱好――地球科学――之中了。生活很少按计划进行。虽然一切并没有变得更容易些,但有时候看上去像是空荡荡的火山口一样的地方――火山把它的心喷发出来了――实际上正是生长、繁盛的空间,用以重新长满新生的美丽事物。