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混合双打等4则

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混合双打

体育老师:孩子们,你们见过男女混合双打吗?

尼克:见过,老师,经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢!

老师:你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。

尼克:啊,对不起,老师。我爸爸常说,“家丑不可外扬”。

Mixed Doubles

Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?

Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.

Teacher: Please tell us something about it.

Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, “Domestic shame should not be published”.

裸泳

Jimmy去池塘游泳,他扎猛子前刚好看到了他的老师Smith小姐,从裸泳中冒了出来。当Smith小姐看到Jimmy时,她赶紧抓过最近的一个物体――那碰巧是一个旧的木头盒子,挡在自己前面说:“年轻人,我知道你在想什么!”“我也知道你在想什么,”Jimmy回答,“你一定以为这个盒子是有底的!”

Skinny Dipping

One day Jimmy went down to the pond for a dip, but before he could dive in he spied his teacher, Mrs. Smith, emerging from nude bathing. When Mrs. Smith saw Jimmy, she grabbed the nearest object which happened to be an old wooden box and held it in front of her.

“Young man, I know what you’re thinking,”she said.

“And I know what you’re thinking,”replied Jimmy.“You’re thinking that box has a bottom on it!”

老夫妻吵架

一对性情乖僻的老夫妻发生了争吵,一直闹到地方法官那里。败诉的一方以一种临战的姿态冲着对方嚷道:“我要到巡回法庭去告你。”

“愿意奉陪。”另一个说。

“我要到最高法院去告你。”

“我也陪你。”

“我还要到地狱去告你。”

“我的人会奉陪的。”对方平静地说。

An Old Couple’s Quarrel

A couple of codgers got into a quarrel and came before the local magistrate. The loser, turning to his opponent in a combative frame of mind, cried: “I’ll law you to the Circuit Court.”

“I’m willing,”said the other.

“I’ll law you to the Supreme Court.”

“I’ll be there.”

“And I’ll law the hell!”

“My attorney will be there,”was the calm reply.

脑筋急转弯

1. 有一种剧,全世界的影剧院都不曾上演过,这是什么剧?

2. 什么东西能加不能减?

脑筋急转弯答案:

1.A prank

2.The age

我保证它很新鲜

镇上开了家新餐馆,我丈夫Walter和我决定去尝尝。女招待给我们写菜时,Walter问餐馆的咖啡是否新鲜。“绝对新鲜,”,女招待回答说,“我们才刚开了两星期。”

I’m Sure it is Fresh

A new restaurant opened in our town, so my husband, Walter and I decided to try it. As the waitress took our order, Walter asked if the coffee was fresh. “I’m sure it is,”answered the waitress. “We’ve only been open two weeks.”