师从天降 第12期
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It is a mystery how I grew to be such a tall girl, but I learned at an early age to cope with1) my size by trying to be as unremarkable as possible. At school, I wore drab2) colors and low heel shoes. I always chose a seat in the back of the room, never raised my hand in class and with my head down and shoulders stooped3), I virtually slouched4) my way through junior high school.
When I was 16, we moved to a small town. I was relatively happy in my new school although still very self-conscious about my height. Our teachers were caring and conscientious5), and I especially liked the old maid English teacher because she loved to discuss Greek mythology, and she always cried when she read poetry to us. The first day of classes in my senior year, however, the school was abuzz6) with the news that the old maid had left to get married and that we were going to have a new English teacher, Oliver Bascom.
Oliver Bascom! He had to be a close relative of Mr. Peepers7) with a name like that! My girlfriends and I doubled over8) with laughter as we collaborated in conjuring up9) visions of a short, bald, skinny, prune10)-faced Caspar Milquetoast wearing horn rimmed glasses and plaid11) pants. The situation wasn't really funny because we were going to have to endure this man for the entire year. As we lethargically12) made our way to class, each of us determined silently to find a seat as far back in the room as possible.
We arrived just before the tardy13) bell, opened the door and there, in front of the blackboard, descended directly from Mount Olympus, stood Adonis. He was tall and young and handsome and had the classic chiseled14) features of a Greek statue.
What ensued15) was sheer pandemonium16), a melee17) of seventeen-year-old girls, flying elbows and feet, scrambling18) to get to seats in the front of the room. With my long legs and arms, I managed to secure the front row center desk.
I was desperate to make a good impression on my new teacher, but kept quiet because I didn't have anything interesting to say. The day that directions were given for our first major writing assignment, I arrived late to class. A friend later gave me the guidelines and I thought I understood them. I worked the entire weekend on the essay, turned it in on time and waited anxiously for Mr. Bascom's evaluation.
After three or four days, he arrived in class bearing a stack of the corrected papers, which he put on the desk in two piles.
"I've selected the ten best essays for class comment and discussion," he said.
Twenty minutes later, my heart sank when he got to the last composition in the pile and I realized that mine had not made the top ten. Oh, where to hide? Why had I ever chosen the most exposed desk in the room?
"These are all outstanding efforts," Mr. Bascom continued, "however, I am now going to read you the most successful of all, a composition which is completely different from the rest and which is remarkable for its originality and creativity." He pulled a paper out of his briefcase and began to read. We all dropped our jaws19) as it dawned on20) us that I was the author of this unusual work.
I never told anyone that the reason my composition was so different was because I had totally misunderstood the assignment. Nevertheless, a different girl walked out of the classroom that day. I knew that I had a new set of standards to live up to21) and that anything was possible in the future. On my way to my next class, I could actually feel my spine22) stretch as I raised my head and straightened my shoulders.
我是怎么长这么高的还真是个谜。不过，从很小的时候起，我就学会了怎样应对自己的个头问题，那就是尽量让自己不起眼。在学校里，我穿色调灰暗的衣服和低跟鞋。我总挑教室后排的位子坐，在课堂上也从不举手发言。低头垂肩，我几乎就这样度过了整个初中时代。
16岁时，我家搬到了一个小镇上。虽然仍会因自己的身高感到局促不安，我在新学校里相对还是比较开心的。我们的老师都很关心我们，对工作也很认真负责。我尤其喜欢英语老师“老姑娘”，因为她爱讲希腊神话，总会在为我们朗诵诗歌时掉眼泪。然而，在我升入高三的第一天，校园里大家都在私底下传着一条消息――那位“老姑娘”已经离开学校去结婚了，我们将会有一位新的英语老师，名叫奥利弗・巴斯科姆。
奥利弗・巴斯科姆！竟然叫这样的名字，他一定是令人捧腹的皮伯斯先生的近亲吧！我和女友们一起幻想这个人的样子：身材矮小、脑门谢顶、瘦骨嶙峋、长着一张西梅干似的皱巴巴的脸，活脱脱一个戴着角质边框眼镜、身穿格子裤的卡斯珀・米尔克托斯特(译者注：H・T・韦伯斯特在其连环漫画《胆小鬼》中所塑造的人物，天性温顺、敏感、胆小懦弱、犹豫不决，常被人轻视)。想到这儿，我们都笑弯了腰。其实这种状况并不好笑，因为这一整年我们都将忍受这样一个人来上课。我们没精打采地走向教室时，每个人都在心中默默地决定找尽可能靠后的座位坐。
我们走到门口，姗姗来迟的上课铃声恰好响起。推开教室门，我们看到黑板前面站着从奥林匹斯山下凡而来的 “阿多尼斯”(译者注：希腊神话中的美男子)。他高大、年轻、英俊，有着希腊雕塑般精雕细琢的味道。
接下来教室里一片混乱，一群17岁的女孩展开混战，手脚并用地争夺着教室前排的座位。出于手长腿长的优势，我成功地抢到了教室前排正中间的位置。
我极度渴望给新老师留下好印象，可因为没什么有趣的事儿可讲，只好缄口不言。有一天，新老师给我们布置了第一个重要的写作任务，并说明了写作要求，可我那天迟到了。一位朋友后来将写作要求告诉了我，我当时还以为自己都懂了。我花了整个周末写完这篇文章，并将它按时交了上去，接着焦急地等待着巴斯科姆老师的评价。
三四天之后，巴斯科姆老师带着一摞改好的作业本走进教室，并把它们分成两叠放在讲桌上。
“我挑了十篇最好的文章供大家评论和讨论。”他说。
20分钟后，当他进行到那一叠中的最后一篇作文时，我意识到自己的文章并没有进入前十名，我的心随之沉到了谷底。哎，要去哪里躲起来呢？当初自己为什么要选择坐在教室里最显眼的座位上啊？
“这些文章都很出色，”巴斯科姆老师接着说道，“不过，我现在要给大家读读所有作文中最成功的一篇，它与其他作文完全不同，因其原创性和创意而显得非同寻常。”他从公文包里拿出一篇作文，开始读起来。当大家知道是我写了这篇独特的作文时，个个惊讶得不得了。
我从未告诉过任何人，我的作文之所以如此与众不同，是因为我当时完全把作业要求理解错了。不过在那一天，一个女孩子以崭新的面貌走出了教室。我知道自己有了一套新的准则可以践行，而且一切皆有可能在未来实现。在去往下一节课的路上，我昂首挺胸，真正感觉到自己直起了腰板。
1. cope with: 对付，(成功地)应对
2. drab [dræb] adj. 色彩暗淡的
3. stooped [stuːpt] adj. 头和肩习惯性前倾的
4. slouch [slaʊtʃ] vi. 低头垂肩地站(或坐、走)
5. conscientious [ˌkɒnʃiˈenʃəs] adj. 认真的；勤勤恳恳的
6. abuzz [əˈbʌz] adj. 嗡嗡响的，嘈杂的
7. Mr. Peepers: 皮伯斯先生，美国20世纪50年代同名情景喜剧中的人物，是一位初中科学教师，言行笨拙，引人发笑，常使自己落入尴尬境地。
8. double over: (使) (因剧痛或大笑等而)弯着身子
9. conjure up: 想出，设想
10. prune [pruːn] n. 李子干，西梅干
11. plaid [plæd] adj. 有格子图案的
12. lethargically [ləˈθː(r)dʒɪkli] adv. 没精打采地；昏睡地
13. tardy [ˈtːdi] adj. 行动缓慢的
14. chisel [ˈtʃɪzl] vt. 凿，雕
15. ensue [ɪnˈsjuː] vi. 接着发生
16. pandemonium [ˌpændəˈməʊniəm] n. 喧闹；大混乱
17. melee [ˈmeleɪ] n. 混战，大打出手
18. scramble [ˈskræmbl] vi. (乱糟糟地)争夺
19. drop one's jaw: 大吃一惊
20. dawn on: 被想到；被领悟
21. live up to: 实践(诺言、原则等)
22. spine [spaɪn] n. 【解】脊柱，脊椎