The Happy Lives of Three Generations of Dekyi’s Family

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Editor’s Note:

The word “Dekyi” in Tibetan means “happiness” and it is often used as a name. The author Dekyi Tsomo was born in November 17th of 1947 in Lhasa. She later studied education in the Tibetan College for Nationalities in Xianyang City of Shaanxi Province in 1960. After graduating, she embarked on a long period of education in Tibet Autonomous Region (TAR). In the last period of her career, she undertook leadership in the government of TAR until she retired in 2011. Being filled with enthusiasm, during the celebrations for the 60th anniversary of the peaceful liberation of Tibet, she wrote this article especially for this journal to describe the happiness of the Dekyi’s family over three generations.

Lhasa is an ancient city steeped in history, embracing abundant and colorful cultural traditions, and it has become a bustling and vital new city that is also our charming and peaceful home. We, three generations of the “Dekyi” family, enjoy a most wonderful and happy life. It seems we Lhasa people are a happy people.

Three generations of my family share the name “Dekyi”. My name is Dekyi Tsomo. In Tibetan “Dekyi”means happiness and “Tsomo” means the fairy from the ocean. Though I do not live in a dragon palace that is isolated from the temporal world as a fairy in the ocean, I am fond of my name that I believe is charming and auspicious. This name has accompanied me for half century and has seen me gradually emerge from the Old Tibet. I received my education in the Tibetan College for Nationalities, becoming a teacher and fi nally accepting a post as a regional leader. My name is also shared with the happiest family and wonderful children. Whenever I look back on my life I can appreciate my peaceful life in which the wellbeing of each generation has been greater than the previous one. I cannot help the many thoughts welling up to my mind and the heartfelt love for my hometown and for our new life.

My daughter and my granddaughter both share my name, Dekyi. So I am the Big Dekyi and my daughter is the Middle Dekyi. Of course, my granddaughter is Little Dekyi. From my point of view a girl with the name Dekyi must be very happy and beautiful. If you don’t believe me, shout out this name on the street and immediately there will be three or four beautiful girls turning their heads to smile at you. Nowadays the word Dekyi has almost become a symbolic name substituting for the nouns “happiness”, “brilliant” and“blessedness”. Many parents like to give this name to their girls and some people even like to name roads, geographic locations and shops “Dekyi”. The word “Dekyi” is everywhere. Obviously, such widespread use of this name reveals the happy life that most people are enjoying, as well as their ambition for a better lifestyle. Therefore, the name “Dekyi” has become the most familiar and beloved name amongst people in Tibet.

MY HAPPINESS

One day in 1960, my mother rushed up to me and held my hands by saying, “Pomu (Tibetan, meaning daughter), you are just like your name and you will have a wonderful future. J ust a couple of minutes ago, cadres came to me to motivate me to send you to inland China for your education. I know you are eager to have schooling, so I have already agreed with them to send you to inland China. Please go without any hesitation!”

I jumped very high since I was so excited and I desperately wanted to have an education anywhere, let alone inland China! However, after my initial excitement, I became a little hesitant as my father had passed away quite early and if I left my mother and siblings alone, how could I help them? Notwithstanding, my mother fi rmly ordered me to leave. Then it was seven years before I returned home. My family had to rely on my mother to raise my siblings and send them to school. She has passed away now but her daughters have already succeeded in their careers and business, and they are enjoying happiness and success.

In August of 1960, several things happened on the way to today’s Tibetan College for Nationalities in Xianyang of Shaanxi Province, which are still fresh in my mind now whenever I remember them.

“New clothes are being distributed!” Excited students passed the information to one another in different accents. In particular, students like us from the Tibetan rural area had never had any chance for new Han-style clothes, which made them feel not only clean but also comfortable. We took off our old Pulu robes, which were full of fl eas, and replaced them with the new school uniform. Now we looked very fresh and healthy.

Everybody changed into their new uniform and came to the playground to wait for the teachers to give us instruction. First we were asked to sit down on the playground. Then the teacher called me. He turned me around to face the students and then I was asked to stretch out my arms and legs while leaning my head to my right shoulder. I was completely puzzled by this request. The teacher then spoke out loudly; “Please notice everybody, today I would like to teach you a Chinese character. Please notice the pose of this female student, which looks like a Chinese character ‘女’, referring to female students. You may find it difficult to speak this word, and actually it doesn’t matter. But you must know this word since female students go the women’s room and male students to the men’s room.”From then on, having learnt the fi rst Chinese character“女”, we did not need to always ask teachers where the women’s room was.

For the last meal before my departure from Xining, I actually shared my supper with a Chinese couple, whom I did not know, at a barbershop that was located several hundred meters away from our accommodation. On that day, I had followed several women wandering close by the barbershop. A couple saw me and approached me with a smile. They seemed to like me very much, touching my head and speaking happily (though I did not know what they said). A woman in our group knew some Chinese and translated for me that they said they really liked me and would like to help me wash my hair and tie it up with a red cord. They asked me to look at myself in a mirror. I found I was much better looking than before. On seeing my happiness, they were both happy too. Finally they treated me to a nice meal and then took my hand, just like my parents, to send me back to the student accommodation. Though there was no common language between the couple and me, their body language showed their affection towards me, also just like my parents. I was too little at that time and regretfully I did not express my appreciation or even ask their names or address. Nevertheless, my mind and my heart were fi lled with appreciation.

Finally, we reached our destination, the Tibetan College for Nationalities in Xianyang. I remember that it was a really hot day in summer and our ears were fi lled with the sound of cicadas. People were busy eating watermelons and ice popsicles. We were welcomed at the entrance to the college by students who had arrived half a year earlier than us.

We were the second group of students in this college since its foundation. There were a total of 2700 Tibetan students from different areas of Tibet, who were all the children of former slaves who had returned after the democratic reform in 1959 to be their own masters. Though these children were illiterate, they were morally good. Since they were students during a unique historical period, their ages varied a great deal. Some were 20 to 30 years old while others were only about ten years old. Nevertheless, they were living harmoniously and supported each other. I was the youngest and was cared for by older members of the class. Some time later, I joined the Young Pioneers and reached the position of squadron leader. When I was 16, I joined the Youth League.

We began studying Chinese in Pinyin. For part of each lesson, I often lay on the wall to watch the children playing in the kindergarten that was not far from my classroom. I saw them also learning Pinyin, but they performed better than us. After studying Pinyin, we began to learn oral Mandarin. We made so many jokes while learning that we had to be disciplined. Today, when I remember these incidents, they don’t seem so funny and I wonder why we were so stupid. We had to repeat simple sentences thousands of times. Although we still had diffi culties, we kept up our practice day after day. Finally, we could almost manage Chinese.

Four years later, while we were reasonably competent with reading Chinese, we encountered an urgent demand of professional technicians in Tibet. In order to meet the demand, the college immediately arranged a curriculum of professional study for us. I remember there were several subjects, including agriculture, forestry, animal husbandry, veterinary science, accounting, education, health care and post-offi ce service. I was asked to study education. It was my dream to be a teacher and I was so happy and proud to have my dream become reality. Happiness shone on my face.

In August 1967, I finally graduated and returned to Tibet. I found teacher training quite easy. I taught in primary school and later in middle school. I have had many students in my life. I like to teach because the process of teaching is actually a way to upgrade your knowledge. I like students and would like to spend my time with them. While I was with them, I felt young and happy. However, before long, I was asked to accept the position of administrator of the college and later was appointed director of the education department of the Publicity Bureau of the Communist Party Committee of Tibet Autonomous Region (this department was later removed from the Bureau). After almost 20 years in education I have gained life-long benefits and massive achievements. Briefly, I first learnt a great deal from the senior professors and experts who worked for Tibet for many years (in particular, their morality) while I worked with them. Secondly, I worked within such a favorable Milieu where students were enthusiastically involved in pursuing knowledge. In fact I was as absorbed in seeking knowledge as everyone else. Sometimes I wrote short novels. In short, my work in the college at that time was crucial for my career.

In 1984, I was moved from the Agricultural and Animal Husbandry College to the Publicity Bureau of the Communist Party of TAR. In 1986, my husband, Lozang Dondrup, was appointed to Lhoka to be director-general and deputy party-secretary general of Lhoka Prefecture. As family members we discussed how I could work in Lhoka with him. With the agreement of the government, I went to Lhoka to take up the post of director of the Publicity Department of Lhoka Prefecture. Then all my family happily moved to Lhoka. My daughter took the national examination and was then enrolled by Tibet University from Lhoka. The local policy offi ce recruited my son. In 1990, I was again appointed to work in Lhasa to take up the post of deputy director of the Department of Secretaries of the General Office of the Party Committee of TAR. This was a turning point for me, enabling me to broaden my horizons and accumulate rich experience as a foundation for my later post as the Director General and Party Secretary of the Bureau of Culture of the autonomous region. In September of 2001, the sixth conference of the representatives of the Communist Party in TAR was held and I was elected to be a member of the Committee of the Communist Party in TAR and also a member of the standing committee. I was honored by this appointment and understood my responsibility and accountability. Only by working hard could I contribute to my government and to all the agencies that had formed me. Five years later, I was appointed to work in the CPPCC of TAR until J anuary of 2011 when I retired.

As I was growing up, apart from guidance, the communist party and my colleagues, there is one more person who gave me crucial support. He is my husband, Lozang Dondrup. He worked in Lhoka for six years as the governor of Lhoka Prefecture and then was appointed to Lhasa Municipality as the mayor. He later undertook the post of executive deputy chairman of the government of TAR, the deputy director of the People’s Congress of TAR. He began his career earlier than me and had rich experience. He was a very contemplative person with a clear and logical mind but doesn’t say a lot. When he was a child, he suffered a lot and experienced further difficulties as he was growing up. He always treated his difficulties as his most precious experience and spiritual wealth. During his 40-year career, we went through many difficulties together and developed a very good understanding of each other. Even today, I would like to say to him that “living with a real man will defi nitely bring happiness”.

Today, possessing a happy family, an excellent husband and good children who respect their parents very much…as well as a harmonious group of siblings, there is nothing to make us unhappy and we have a responsibility to do our best to make a contribution to society.

MY HAPPY DAUGHTER DEKYI SANGMO

The name “Dekyi Sangmo” came from the contemplation by my husband and me regarding this child. In such cases before the peaceful liberation, parents might present Kharda and cash to a senior monk or a reincarnation to request the granting of a name. But today things happen differently as people are enjoying equality and parents have the right and authority to name their own children.

On hearing the name “Dekyi Sangmo”, Tibetans are accustomed to thinking the girl must be very charming and of good character. Truly, my daughter is a good example of charm and goodness. My mother said on the day she held her granddaughter, who had just been born; “Life today is wonderful so there is no reason for my granddaughter to have the name of Dekyi.” Regarding the name “Sangmo”, it actually came from each of the characters of my name and my husband’s name to signify our successful marriage. The word “Sangmo” has an interesting connotation, meaning “a fair maiden” with both goodness and a modest disposition.

Dekyi Sangmo has been a smart girl since she was small. She had a round and happy face. Her words sometimes make us laugh. She brings happiness to the whole family. For instance, once when she came back from kindergarten, she smiled and said: “Dad and Mom, those good people call me ‘little fat’ and then her face changed to sad and unhappy, saying: Those bad people call me ‘Commander Hu’“(“Commander Hu” is a character in drama representing a vicious fi gure).” Family members, on hearing this, fell about with laughter …but she was puzzled by such laughter. Another time, all the organization’s staff was asked to cut grass regularly to feed pigs. At noon, her father was resting at home, and I went outside to cut grass for pigs, taking her with me. On the way home, it suddenly started raining heavily. I immediately picked up the basket and took off my coat to put it over my daughter’s head. I grasped her little hand and ran towards shelter. Suddenly, she stopped and stared at my face where rain was fl owing down. She said: “Mom, why does Dad sleep at home just like a landlord, but we both are like his servants!” I was impressed and felt she was such a good girl with a child’s mind but full of goodness.

The childhood of Dekyi Sangmo, compared with my childhood, is better all round, like one is from hell and the other from Heaven. Of course, comparing her childhood with today’s children, there is a big discrepancy. During my daughter’s childhood, her books and stationary for study were very simple, so were her toys. It was hard to buy a beautiful child’s dress at that time, let alone electronic study equipment. A TV set was quite rare. We often shared one TV set in the conference hall with everybody working in the same organization. At night children and adults shared the same time together to watch TV in the conference hall. Today, sometimes, I feel sorry for my daughter, but whenever I mention this, my daughter always responds by saying she was lucky to have a happy childhood though the learning environment might not be as advanced as today. She comments that sometimes she feels today’s children were often busy with their homework and have no time to play outside. That is a pity. I fully support my daughter’s version regarding today’s children. It is exactly what my feeling is. In fact, children living during previous times did not have suffi cient wealth, but they were very happy and healthy, and their lives were full of interest. My daughter had such a wonderful life when she was a child. She liked to take her spare time to read books. Since she was in her fourth grade, she had already read lots of well-known books from around the world. She shared her reading with her friends by telling them the stories, but she also edited the stories for her little classmates. She was successfully enrolled by university after middle school and became the fi rst university student in our family, which was defi nitely a glory for us all. Of course, this laid a foundation for her later life and a healthy way to grow up.

Nowadays, Dekyi Sangmo has already become a well-known person in Lhasa. For a quite long period, she has been involved in philanthropy. On one hand, she conducted a wide communication with all walks of life to raise funds for helping people in difficult economic situations and funding students; on the other hand, she made friends with a big group of patriots (including people from the entertainment industry, business enterprises, government offi cers, and other dignitaries) who could at any time lend a hand to people who are in need of help.

Dekyi Sangmo is young but she is mentally mature and equipped with a creative mind. With such young people around, our older generation feels life is so interesting and active. Nowadays, people who are younger than her amongst our relatives take her as an example.

MY HAPPY G RANDDAUG HTER DEKYI LHUNDRO

Dekyi Lhundro is the little “Dekyi” in our family. She is 11 years old. The word “Lhundro”means, in Tibetan, “grasping treasures”. I believe, although gold and silver is recognized as treasures, we are searching for a happy life. Dekyi Lhundro was born in the year of dragon. She almost never cried in her infancy but kept a smile on her face. Nurses in hospital always wanted to hug her. Older people liked to hold her and refused to pass her on to others. She seemed to have become a valuable treasure for the family. In addition, the day of her birth was the ninth of September, which was the day of the death of Chairman Mao. When she began to learn to talk, her fi rst words were “Chairman Mao”. She seemed to have a special feeling for Chairman Mao. When she was four, her babysitter took her to the Potala Palace. On arriving in the chamber and preparing to prostrate in front of Buddha, she raised her little hands and repeatedly shouted “Long life of Chairman Mao!” to the amusement of everybody in the chamber. After growing up, she has retained her respect for Chairman Mao. In the beginning of last year, we took her to Sanya of Hainan Province. On hearing of Mt. Mao Gong in Ledong County where the mountain’s shape looks like the fi gure of Chairman Mao, all our family paid a special visit. Looking into the distance from the foot of the mountain, its shape is just like Chairman Mao lying down and facing the sky. This is why the previously named “Mountain Bao Guo” was renamed “Mt. Mao Gong”. After returning to the hotel, Dekyi Lhundro wrote down her feelings regarding the visit. At the end, she wrote “From deep in my heart, I understood that no matter if it is superstition or not, Chairman Mao is a divinity. He served the people to give them a comfortable and happy life. Chairman Mao will always be the sunshine deep in our hearts.” I was so impressed by words like this from such a little girl. I feel she has a profound bond with Chairman Mao.

Dekyi Lhundro is a beautiful little girl. She is tall with a delicate face. Long, black eyebrows like a shining crescent perfectively accompany her high nose. When she speaks, her little red mouth moves upward and down and she sounds like a bird. In school she is beloved by her teachers… and at home all family members like her very much. Nevertheless, she is really modest in her treatment of her younger sisters and brothers.

Dekyi Lhundro has an outgoing disposition. She is good at singing and dancing. Whenever guests come to visit the family, no matter she knows them or not, she always welcomes them with a happy face and keeps busy preparing tea and candies. Her mothers’ friends and classmates have become her friends. Wherever we are, she appears bright and brings happiness to all people around her.

She is a good girl with a caring nature. Whenever she sees children and little animals mistreated by people or other animals, she immediately intervenes. On hearing of the earthquakes in Wenchuan of Sichuan Province and Yushu of Qinghai Province, she was active in the fundraising activities in her school. She came home and asked for contributions from her family. If anyone in the family was unenthusiastic, she criticized them sharply. On hearing of the incident of March 14th, 2008 in Lhasa she, on behalf of her primary school, went to the hospital to convey their sympathy. Returning home, she immediately worked out family rules and pasted them on the wall and asked us to read them every day. She also asked the babysitter to follow her rules. I remember that her rules included “don’t say anything which may damage the unity of all ethnic groups”, “don’t do anything which may damage the unity of the motherland”, and “don’t say dirty words to people”… She asks family members to strictly obey her rules, although she is just a little girl. Being such a lovely girl, I believe her future life will be wonderful.

We three generations of “dekyi”, as residents of Lhasa, feel very proud. Though Lhasa City is not big and not wealthy enough, we do feel Lhasa makes us happy and comfortable.