我的信念 第4期

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I believe in my dog.

I believe in the way he lives his life and I try to 1)emulate him. I 2)strive to gain his level of happiness in the simplest of things, like the way he approaches

each meal with endless appreciation and even joy. While I struggle to decide what to eat from full

cupboards and 3)lament what I don’t have, he circles the floor excitedly, anticipating the very same meal in the very same portion at the very same time every day.

I believe in how he lives in the present. As my day fills with stress, crowded 4)commutes and

endless deadlines, I think of Duncan home alone. His day was probably boring, but he’s ready to move right past it once we are together.

I believe in his 5)egalitarian treatment of

everyone despite race, 6)creed or appearance. He never 7)prejudges. Before I had him, I considered

myself 8)street-smart, avoiding eye contact with

people I didn’t know, or didn’t think I wanted to know. Running through Chicago neighborhoods with Duncan has changed all that. Now each time people smile at us, I smile back. And if Duncan stops to say hello, I stop and greet them too.

I never had a dog before. I got Duncan at the urging of a friend who had probably grown as tired as my 9)bachelor behavior as I had. My long work nights and weekends always ended with the lonely run or a phone call to someone I didn’t really listen to. All I talked about was me and what was wrong with my life. My friends stopped asking me out because I was either at work or talking about work. I was what some people would call “a dog” a bad dog. Not one person

depended on me nor I upon them.

One Sunday I woke up at noon, and I suddenly noticed how silent my house was and my life was. I realized I couldn’t expect any valued relationship until I created one first. So I got Duncan.

All of a sudden, where no one

depended on me, he did. It was extreme 10)detox from selfishness let me out, feed me, clean up after me, watch me sleep. I found that I actually liked being relied upon. When I realized that I could meet his needs, I also realized he met mine. Every time I come in the door, he is waiting to greet me with glee. Now, when my girlfriend comes over, I get up and run to the door to greet her, like I learned to do from my dog.

我相信我的狗。

我相信他的生活方式，并努力向他学习。我努力像他一样从最简单的事情中收获快乐，就像他每次吃饭都有无尽的好胃口和好心情那样。当我在满满的橱柜里绞尽脑汁地挑选，为没有的东西而叹气时，他却在地板上兴奋地绕圈圈，期待着每天在同样的时间，以同样的分量，吃同样的食物。

我相信他活在当下。每当我的一天充满各种压力，上班路上人多拥挤，还要面对一个接一个的最后限期，我就会想到独自在家的邓肯。他这一天可能也过得很无聊，但只要我们在一起，他就会把那一切全都抛诸脑后。

我相信他平等对待每个人，不在乎对方的种族、信仰或外貌。他从来不会先入为主。养他之前，我总是自以为圆滑世故，对陌生人或无意结识的人看都不看一眼。和邓肯一起在芝加哥的大街小巷穿行却改变了这一切。现在，每当人们朝我们微笑，我就会给他们回报一个微笑。如果邓肯停下来打招呼，我也会停下脚步，问候对方。

我从没养过狗。我养邓肯也是一个朋友促成的，他大概和我一样受够了我的单身汉行为。有工作的漫漫长夜和周末结束时，我总会一个人跑跑步或者心不在焉地讲电话。我谈的都是自己以及生活的不顺。朋友们也不再约我出去，因为我不是在工作，就是在谈工作。我就是某些人口中的“一条狗”――还是一条坏狗。没有人会依赖我，我也从不依靠别人。

一个周日，我在中午醒来，突然注意到自己的房子一片死寂，我的生活同样空洞无物。我意识到除非自己迈出第一步，否则我永远无法建立有意义的人际关系。于是我养了邓肯。

突然之间，在没人依靠我时，邓肯依赖我。这简直就是“自私自利症”的解药――放我出去，喂我吃饭，给我洗澡，看着我睡觉。我发现自己其实很喜欢被依赖。当我意识到自己能满足他的需求时，他也满足了我的需要。每当我踏进家门，他都会兴高采烈地迎接我。现在，女朋友来的时候，我也会跑到门口迎接她，就像我的狗教我的那样。