永不动摇的父爱
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I was conceived in the era before ultrasound. The doctors thought I was a boy because my heartbeat was strong. Everyone had some quick adjustments to make when I arrived in the delivery room as a girl. My dad， a seminary student at the time， explained my unexpected sex change in the church bulletin as “God having other plans”.
It became clear that God also had a sense of humor when two more daughters followed and my dad found himself surrounded. We had a hobby farm， with a few dogs， some sheep， two calves， and a few horses. Even our pets were female. Dad was sorely outnumbered， but fortunately had a good nature that even saw him through the years of raising three emotive daughters.
My dad worked hard and was often late for dinner， but he prized family above anything else he could provide. He taught me that friends come and go， but family is forever.
When we were little， my sisters and I would visit him at work， first pressing our noses to the glass window outside his office to see if he had time to see us. He would look up from behind his desk and break into a big smile. That was the signal for us to scramble into the building and down the hall to his office.
He would meet us at his doorway， crouch down and wrap us up in a bear hug. As a daughter， I never felt so safe as when those big arms were around me. My own daughter is now 11， and she and her 9-year-old brother get those same swallowing
hugs from their grandpa.
I have great memories of hard-earned family vacations―camping， cross-country road trips， and ice-fishing adventures. Dad used these times to pass along to us the essential skills of life. I can still remember the slippery feel of fish guts on my cold fingers as Dad taught me to clean our catch with his hand-carved filet knife.
He challenged me to get outdoors and to be a full participant in life. I can remember when I became a teenager and didn’t think it was cool to be life’s participant. I pouted my way through many outings―entire vacations even―with a bad attitude and disrespectful words. My dad may have been at his wit’s end， but he was there through all of it.
As a grown woman， I’m not afraid of snakes or guts or getting dirty. I now know that teenage hormones run their course and that bad feelings pass with time， when someone loves you through them.
As a child， my dad could fix just about anything―a bicycle tire， a leaky faucet， and bad grammar on my English essay. He had a way of solving problems， or re-stating things so they didn’t feel like problems anymore.
He taught me that “happiness was my choice” and framed a poem for me on the subject to remind me. Some things he wasn’t able to fix. Like the time when I was 15 and my horse became so sick that I couldn’t ride her anymore.
There are few stronger influences in a daughter’s life than the role of a father. Some cultures say that it is the father that calls forth the identity of his daughter and provides her the confidence to meet the challenges of life.
If I have strong relationships， it is because my dad taught me that you don’t give up on those you care about. If I am determined， it is because my dad showed me that you can make a difference if you persevere. If I am happy， it has a lot to do with a father who showed me that life sometimes presents what you don’t expect， and that how you respond is up to you.
Looking back， I say my heartbeat was strong， even from the womb， because my dad loved me with a great love. He taught me that love isn’t something you do， but who you are.
Fast-forward almost four decades. On this Father’s Day， my dad will be surrounded by my mom， his three daughters， our spouses， and eight grandchildren. When my middle sister delivers this fall， my dad will have the nine grandchildren he always wanted. And thanks to this era of high-definition ultrasounds， we already know that then the boys in our family will outnumber the girls.
我在娘胎里的时候还没有超声波扫描检查呢。医生从我强劲的心跳断定我是个男孩。当我在产房出生时，大家一看是个女孩，马上又适应了过来。爸爸当时还是一个神学院的学生，他在教堂的公告栏上将我出生时竟是女孩一事说成是“上帝另有安排”。
当爸爸又添了两个女儿，发觉自己被孩子团团围住时，很明显上帝也有幽默感。我们有一个在平时玩乐的农场，里面养了一些狗、几只羊、两只牛犊和一些马匹。甚至我们的宠物都是母的。虽是三个女儿的爸爸，但幸运的是，他靠着善良的本性，挺过了养育我们三个爱哭鼻子姐妹的岁月。
爸爸努力地工作，经常赶不上家里的晚餐，但他将家庭看得最重。他教导我说，朋友来了又走，但是家人意味着永远。
小时候，我和妹妹们会在爸爸上班时去他那儿，在他办公室外面把鼻子贴在玻璃窗上看他是否有时间见我们。爸爸会在办公桌后面抬起头来，突然咧嘴大笑。这是他让我们冲进大楼，穿过大厅到他办公室的信号。
爸爸会在办公室门口迎接我们，蹲下来把我们都揽在怀里。作为他的女儿，只有当他粗壮的手臂抱着我时，我才感到最安全。我自己的女儿现在11岁，她和她9岁的弟弟也能从他们的祖父那里得到热情的拥抱。
我对家里少有的几次外出度假记忆犹新――野营、越野公路旅行和破冰捕鱼。爸爸利用这些时间教我们生活的基本技巧。我仍记得鱼的内脏在冰冷的手上滑滑的感觉，当时爸爸用他手工雕刻的剔骨刀教我们把捕获的鱼清理干净。
爸爸硬逼着我到户外去，让自己的生活充实起来。记得当时我十几岁，并不认为让生活充实起来是件很酷的事。很多次外出时，我都一路上撅着嘴，甚至在整个度假的时候态度不好，口出不敬之词。爸爸可能已经束手无措，但他始终陪着我。
现在我长大成人了，不怕蛇、动物内脏，也不怕弄得脏兮兮的。我现在明白，青少年的荷尔蒙是自然发展的，不良情绪会随着时间消失，在整个过程中某个人始终爱着你。
在我小时候，爸爸会修理任何东西，比如自行车轮胎、漏水的龙头，还会纠正我英语作文里的语法错误。他有解决问题或重述事情的方法，这样它们就不再感觉像是问题了。
爸爸教我“幸福由我自己做主”，并还为此写了一首诗来提醒我，但有些事他没办法搞定。比如在我15岁时，我的马生病了，我就再也不能骑它了。
在一个女儿的生活中，没有什么能比父亲的角色更有影响力。一些文化认为，是父亲唤起了女儿的认同感，并且为她树立起迎接生活挑战的自信心。
如果我有牢固的个人关系，那是因为爸爸教我不要放弃那些我关心的人。如果我态度坚决，那是因为爸爸告诉我，如果我坚持不懈，我就会有不同之处。如果我快乐无忧，那也与爸爸有很大的关系，因为他告诉我生活有时会展现你不曾期许的东西，如何应对取决于你自己。
回首往事，我可以说我有强劲的心跳，甚至在母亲的子宫里就是如此，那是因为爸爸爱我爱得深沉。他教会我爱不是你要做什么，而是你是谁。
近40年的时间一晃而过。在今年的父亲节，我的妈妈、我们仨姐妹和各自的丈夫，以及我们的8个孩子，将团聚在一起为爸爸庆祝节日。当我的二妹在今年秋天生孩子时，爸爸将如他所想，成为9个孩子的外祖父。在拥有高清晰度超声波扫描的时代，我们已经知道，到那时家中的男孩的数量将要超过女孩。