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《少年派的奇幻漂流》(节选)

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Islept all morning. I was roused by anxiety. That tide of food, water and rest that flowed through my weakened system, bringing me a new lease on life, also brought me the strength to see how desperate my situation was. I awoke to the reality of Richard Parker. There was a tiger in the lifeboat. I could hardly believe it, yet I knew I had to. And I had to save myself. I considered jumping overboard and swimming away, but my body refused to move. I was hundreds of miles from landfall, if not over a thousand miles. I couldn’t swim such a distance, even with a lifebuoy. What would I eat? What would I drink? How would I keep the sharks away? How would I keep warm? How would I know which way to go? There was not a shadow of doubt about the matter: to leave the lifeboat meant certain death. But what was staying aboard? He would come at me like a typical cat, without a sound. Before I knew it he would seize the back of my neck or my throat and I would be pierced by fang-holes. I wouldn’t be able to speak. The lifeblood would flow out of me unmarked by a final utterance. Or he would kill me by clubbing me with one of his great paws, breaking my neck.

“I’m going to die,”I blubbered through quivering lips.

Oncoming death is terrible enough, but worse still is oncoming death with time to spare, time in which all the happiness that was yours and all the happiness that might have been yours becomes clear to you. You see with utter lucidity all that you are losing. The sight brings on an oppressive sadness that no car about to hit you or water about to drown you can match. The feeling is truly unbearable. The words Father, Mother, Ravi, India, Winnipeg struck me with searing poignancy.

I was giving up. I would have given up―if a voice hadn’t made itself heard in my heart. The voice said, “I will not die. I refuse it. I will make it through this nightmare. I will beat the odds, as great as they are. I have survived so far, miraculously. Now I will turn miracle into routine. The amazing will be seen every day. I will put in all the hard work necessary. Yes, so long as God is with me, I will not die. Amen.”

My face set to a grim and determined expression. I speak in all modesty as I say this, but I discovered at that moment that I have a fierce will to live. It’s not something evident, in my experience. Some of us give up on life with only a resigned sigh. Others fight a little, then lose hope. Still others―and I am one of those―never give up. We fight and fight and fight. We fight no matter the cost of battle, the losses we take, the improbability of success. We fight to the very end. It’s not a question of courage. It’s something constitutional, an inability to let go.

Richard Parker started growling that very instant, as if he had been waiting for me to become a worthy opponent. My chest became tight with fear.

“Quick, man, quick,”I wheezed. I had to organize my survival. Not a second to waste. I needed shelter and right away. I thought of the prow I had made with an oar. But now the tarpaulin was unrolled at the bow; there was nothing to hold the oar in place. And I had no proof that hanging at the end of an oar provided real safety from Richard Parker. He might easily reach and nab me. I had to find something else. My mind worked fast.

整个上午我都在昏睡。由于焦虑,我还是醒来了。我虚弱的全身得到了接踵而至的食物和水的补给,并且经过充分休息,我恢复了元气,也有力气看清自己的处境是多么令人绝望。醒来时,我面对的是理查德・帕克――救生艇上的一只老虎。我简直不敢相信,但我知道我必须相信,并且我得拯救自己。我想到跳船游走,但我的身体不听使唤。即使没有一千多英里,我离看得见的陆地也还有几百英里远。我游不了那么远的距离,就算有救生圈也不行。我吃什么?喝什么?怎么才能不让鲨鱼靠近?怎么保暖?怎么知道该往哪个方向游?有一点毫无疑问:离开救生艇就意味着必死无疑。但是,留在船上又能如何?它会像一般的猫科动物一样,悄无声息地向我扑来。在我浑然不知时,它就会抓住我的颈背或喉咙,用它的尖牙利齿将我刺穿。那时我会说不出话来。生命必需的血液将流尽,而我会在昏迷中死去。要不,它会用一只巨大的爪子打断我的脖子。

“我肯定会死的。”我双唇颤抖,抽泣着说。

即将到来的死亡已经够可怕的了,但更糟的是,死亡还要等一段时间才会到来。在这段时间里,你曾经拥有的所有幸福和与你失之交臂的所有幸福,都变得历历在目。你清清楚楚地看见自己正在失去的一切。这种景象令人悲伤欲绝,是疾驰而来行将撞人的汽车,或者行将吞噬溺水者生命的所不能相比的。这种感觉真是让人无法忍受。父亲、母亲、拉维、印度、温尼伯,这几个词让我倍感酸楚。

我准备放弃了。假如我心里没有响起一个声音,我就可能已经放弃了。那个声音说:“我不会死的。我拒绝死去。我要结束这场噩梦。我要战胜困难,尽管困难很大。到目前为止,我都活了下来,奇迹般地活了下来。现在我要化奇迹为常规。令人惊奇的事每天都会发生。我要付出所有必要的努力。是的,只要上帝与我同在,我就不会死。阿门。”

我开始面露严肃和坚定的神色。现在我谈及此事的时候,毫无夸张的成分,但是那一刻,我发现自己有非常强烈的生存欲望。根据我的经验,这不是显而易见的事。有些人只顺从地叹了一口气,便放弃求生的希望。另一些人抗争了一会,然后便心生绝望。还有一些人――我便是其中之一――却从不放弃。我们不断地抗争、抗争、抗争。无论这场斗争需要付出多大的代价,无论我们会遭受多大的损失,无论胜利的机会是多么渺茫,我们都要进行抗争,并且抗争到底。这不是勇气的问题,而与人的品质有关,是一种不肯放弃的能力。

就在那一刻,理查德・帕克开始咆哮起来,仿佛它一直在等着我成为一个值得较量的对手。我的胸口因为害怕而绷紧了。

“快呀,伙计,快!”我气喘吁吁地说。我得安排好如何逃生,一秒钟都不能浪费。我需要藏身之所,并且刻不容缓。我想到了自己用船桨搭的船头,但是现在船头的油布是铺开的,没有东西可以固定船桨。而且没有证据表明,吊在船桨末端能让我真正避开理查德・帕克的尖牙利爪。也许它可以轻易地够到并捉住我。我得找点别的东西。我的脑筋飞速地运转着。

延伸阅读

少年派的奇幻漂流》是一本关于成长、冒险、希望、奇迹、生存和信心的小说,在美国、加拿大、德国、英国等国家进入了高中生必读书目。这部小说讲述了一个16岁的印度少年在海难后,与一头重达200千克的孟加拉虎(理查德・帕克)在一只救生艇上共同生活7个多月的故事。如真似幻的海上历险,与天真、残酷并存的人性矛盾,在小说中巧妙契合,给读者带来不断的惊喜。作者扬・马特尔因这部小说荣获2002年度英国最高文学奖项――布克奖。好莱坞导演李安根据小说拍摄了同名3D电影,获得第85届奥斯卡最佳导演奖、最佳摄影奖、最佳视觉效果奖和最佳原创配乐奖。