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翻译擂台 第5期

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为了增加本刊与广大读者群体的互动性,《双语时代》与“沪江英语网”()联手创办了《翻译擂台》(You Translate)栏目,旨在锻炼和提高翻译过程中相对薄弱的汉译英环节,为英语爱好者提供一个相互切磋与学习的平台。

活动细则

1. 翻译内容主要以国内报刊书籍的中文节选片段为主。

2. 翻译要求为准确、通顺、地道地将汉语原文的语意和精髓翻译出来。

3. 有兴趣的读者可登陆“沪江英语网”的永久活动页面(blog.省略/blt/)来参与本活动。

4. 所有翻译作品均由《双语时代》外籍编辑来担任评判并在下月给出参考译文。每月,会从所有参与者中选取最好的五篇作品并推荐其中

一篇刊登在下月的《双语时代》杂志上。

5. 作品被选中的五名作者可以获得《双语时代》下月杂志一本,而作品被推荐刊登的作者则可以连续获得随后三期的《双语时代》杂志。

6. 活动截止日期为每月15日。

本期题目

尽管媒体事先都知道施密特(Schmidt)访华的消息,但是对于GOOGLE中文名称,很多人还是有些意外。GOOGLE公司有关人士透露,“谷歌”这一GOOGLE的中文名称是中国员工通过数轮投票遴选出来的,取“来自硅谷的歌声”、“丰收之歌”、“喜悦之歌”的寓意。

上期回顾

0604期《翻译擂台》收到了许多热心参与者的翻译稿件,出现了不少优秀的作品。我们的外籍编辑Tom从中选出了5篇比较出色的作品,作者分别是rod815、dan_01、JustFlying、 yunzaitian和dingdang51。其中,rod815在整体上把握了原文的脉络,在翻译上更为出色,被评为0604期最佳译文!

参考译文

“If you came outside in the evening and saw this, you couldn't help but be terrified!" The day before yesterday, on the north side of Lugu Road in Shijingshan, a department store had half a mannequin in front of it hanging from the branches of a tree, attracting the attention of many passers-by. According to nearby bicycle repairman "Uncle" Li, the department store has been preparing for refurbishment for the last few days, temporarily putting some goods and shelves in front of their door. But it is unknown who took the female mannequin and hung it in the tree. Later on, the upper body of the mannequin was blown down by a gust of wind, leaving it with one piece in the tree and the other on the ground in an inelegant manner.

翻译题目

“这要是晚上出门看见还不被吓坏了!”前天,石景山鲁谷路北侧一商场前有个半截模特模型(mannequin)被挂在树枝上,惹来行人驻足观望。据附近修自行车的李大爷讲,前些日子前面的商场准备装修,把一些货物、货架临时堆放在商场门前。但不知是谁,把一女模特的模型挂上了树,后来一刮风,“模特”的上半身就被刮下来了,就这样一截在树上,剩下一截在地上,很不雅观。(选自2006年3月15日《北京娱乐信报》第8版)

获奖译文

"That will scare your pants off when you have a night walk!" The day before yesterday, one half-cut mannequin was found hanging on the tree, which standed in the front of a mall that was located in the north of Road LuGu, District ShiJingShan, and much attention was drawed to study the poor mannequin. According to Li, the elder who earned a living for fixing bicycles, the other day, there had had a decoration inside the mall, where some goods and stands had been pulled out and been put together for the moment in front of the mall. It was during the moment when the mannequin was "pinned upon" the tree over there. There was no evidence that who did it. Later on, a blast of wind made the other part of the model blown down, with another part of body remaining staying on the limb. Be it ever so disgusting, the sight was not comfortable. (作者:rod815)

TOM

这篇报道非常贴近生活,在翻译中准确反映原意是有难度的。因此,需要对原文有很好的把握,再选择恰当的词句加以表达。在翻阅了众多作品之后,我认为rod815的作品还是非常不错的。接下来,我会就其中存在的一些小问题做个点评。首先,“night walk”在语意上不完整,要改为“night-time walk”。第二,在第二句话中,“half-cut”运用得不是很恰当,要改成“cut in half”;“the tree”由于在前文中没有交代,所以不能用“the”来表示那是特指,需要改成“a tree”;有两个地方出现了词形变化错误:“standed”应该是“stood”(不过,在文中的语境中,应该用“stands”),“drawed”应该是“drawn”;另外,在翻译中文地名时,不必全都大写,应把地名当作一个整体名词,只大写首字母,如“Road LuGu”应为“Lugu Road”,“District ShiJingShan”应为“Shijingshan District”;“study”用在这里来表达原文中的意思是不合适的,其实结合作者所使用的句式,在“to”之后就不需要再加动词了。第三,由于谋生的方式是“fixing bicycles”,所以“for”要改成“by”。第四,“there had”、“during the moment”和“evidence that who did it”要分别改成“they had”、“during that time”、“evidence of who did it”。最后,在末尾的那个句子中,也稍微有些问题:“be it ever so”的意思是“no matter how...”(如“Be you ever so swift, they'll still catch you”),不过,这种用法已经过时了,很少使用。另外,“the sight was not comfortable”让我听起来有点儿怪怪的,我认为还是改成“the sight was unpleasant”比较好一些。