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恪守一生的承诺

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In a world where so many lives are being torn apart by divorces and heartaches, comes a story of a father and a daughter, and a promise that was kept.

My father was not a sentimental man. I don’t remember him ever “ooohhing” or “ahhing” over something I made as a child. Don’t get me wrong; I knew that my dad loved me, but getting all mushy-eyed was not his thing. I learned that he showed me love in other ways.

There was one particular time in my life when this became real to me…

I always believed that my parents had a good marriage, but just before I, the youngest of four children, turned sixteen, my belief was sorely tested. My father, who used to share in the chores around the house, gradually started becoming despondent. From the time he came home from his job at the factory to the time he went to bed, he hardly spoke a word to my mom or us kids. The strain on my mom and dad’s relationship was very evident. However, I was not prepared for the day that Mom sat my siblings and me down and told us that Dad had decided to leave. All that I could think of was that I was going to become a product of a divorced family. It was something I never thought possible, and it grieved me greatly. I kept telling myself that it wasn’t going to happen, and I went totally numb when I knew my dad was really leaving. The night before he left, I stayed up in my room for a long time. I prayed and I cried and I wrote a long letter to my dad. I told him how much I loved him and how much I would miss him. I told him that I was praying for him and wanted him to know that, no matter what, Jesus and I loved him. I told him that I would always and forever be his Krissie...his Noodles. As I folded my note, I stuck in a picture of me with a saying I had always heard: “Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a daddy.”

Early the next morning, as my dad left our house, I sneaked out to the car and slipped my letter into one of his bags.

Two weeks went by with hardly a word from my father. Then, one afternoon, I came home from school to find my mom sitting at the dining room table waiting to talk to me. I could see in her eyes that she had been crying. She told me that Dad had been there and that they had talked for a long time. They decided that there were things that the both of them could and would change and that their marriage was worth saving. Mom then turned her focus to my eyes.

“Kristi, Dad told me that you wrote him a letter. Can I ask what you wrote to him?”

I found it hard to share with my mom what I had written from my heart to my dad. I mumbled a few words and shrugged.

Mom said, “Well, Dad said that when he read your letter, it made him cry. It meant a lot to him and I have hardly ever seen your dad cry. After he read your letter, he called to ask if he could come over to talk. Whatever you said really made a difference to your dad.”

A few days later my dad was back, this time to stay. We never talked about the letter, my dad and I. I guess I always figured that it was something that was a secret between us.

My parents went on to be married a total of thirty six years before my dad’s early death at the age of fifty three cut short their lives together. In the last sixteen years of my parent’s marriage, I and all those who knew my mom and dad, witnessed one of the truly “great” marriages. Their love grew stronger every day, and my heart swelled with pride as I saw them grow closer together.

When Mom and Dad received the news from the doctor that his heart was deteriorating rapidly, they took it hand in hand, side by side, all the way.

After Dad’s death, we had the most unpleasant task of going through his things. I have never liked this task and opted to run errands so I did not have to be there while most of the things were divided and boxed up.

When I got back from my errand, my brother said, “Kristi, Mom said to give this to you. She said you would know what it meant.” As I looked down into his outstretched hand, it was then that I knew the impact of my letter that day so long ago. In my brother’s hand was my picture that I had given my dad that day. My unsentimental dad, who never let his emotions get the best of him; my dad, who almost never outwardly showed his love for me, had kept the one thing that meant so much to him and me. I sat down and the tears began to flow, tears that I thought had dried up from the grief of his death but that had now found new life as I realized what I had meant to him. Mom told me that Dad kept both the picture and that letter his whole life. I have a box in my home that I call the “Dad box”. In it are so many things that remind me of my dad. I pull that picture out every once in a while and remember. I remember a promise that was made many years ago between a young man and his bride on their wedding day, and I remember the unspoken promise that was made between a father and his daughter.

A promise kept.

现今,离婚和关系破裂粉碎了无数人的人生,然而在这样的一个时世,有着这么一个关于一对父女信守承诺的故事。

我父亲不善表露感情。我记得在我小时候,他从来不为我做的任何事情而发出“噢噢噢”或者“啊啊啊”之类的感叹。不要误会我的意思;我知道我父亲是爱我的,但是将感情外露不是他的性格。我知道他通过其他方式表达对我的爱。

在我的人生中,只有这么一回让我感受到他的爱是如此的真实……

第二天早上,我趁父亲走出房子的时候,偷偷溜到小汽车里,把这封信放进他其中的一个背包里。

两个星期过去了,父亲几乎音信全无。然后,一天下午,我放学回家后看到母亲坐在饭厅的餐桌旁,等着跟我谈一谈。我从她的眼睛可以看出她刚哭过。她告诉我父亲曾经来过,还和她谈了好久。他们认为,他们之间有很多地方可以改善,并且在将来也会得到改善,而且他们的婚姻值得挽救。然后妈妈把目光转过来,望着我的眼睛。

“克莉丝汀,你爸告诉我说你给他写了一封信。我可以知道你写了些什么吗?”

我所写的都是想对父亲说的肺腑之言,这些言语我很难向母亲启齿。所以我只是含糊地说了几句,然后耸耸肩。

母亲说:“嗯,你爸说,他读你的信读到哭了。这封信对他很有意义,而我几乎没见过你爸哭。他读完你的信之后,打电话来问我可不可以谈一谈。你的话真的对他影响很大。

几天后,父亲回家了,这次他不走了。父亲和我之后再没提起过这封信。我想我一直把这封信当作了我们两人之间的秘密。

父母亲的婚姻维持了整整36年,直到父亲在53岁时早逝,才结束了他们在一起的时光。在父母亲婚姻的最后16年里,所有认识我父母亲的人以及我,都见证了这段非常美满的婚姻。他们的爱日渐牢固,而当我看到他们越来越亲密的时候,我的心里就会充满自豪。

当父母亲从医生那里得知父亲的心脏正在快速衰竭的时候,他们始终手牵手,肩并肩地一起面对疾病。

父亲逝世后,我们开始整理他的遗物,这是最为难受的任务。我从来不喜欢做这活儿,而选择了做跑腿,因此大部分遗物被分类和装箱的时候,我都不必在场。

当我办完事回家的时候,我的哥哥说:“克莉丝汀,这是妈妈让我给你的。她说你会明白其中的含义。”

我低头看他伸出的手,那时我才明白到我那封信在多年前那天所产生的影响。我哥哥手中拿的是那天我给父亲的那张照片。我那不善表露感情的父亲,从来不让内心的情绪左右自己;我的父亲,几乎从来没有大方地表达对我的爱,却一直保存着这张对他和我都极为重要的照片。我坐下来,眼泪开始滴落,我曾以为我的眼泪在他去世的时候就流干了,而现在当我意识到我对他是多么重要的时候,眼泪又开始“复苏”。母亲告诉我说,父亲始终珍藏着这张照片和那封信。我家里有一个我称之为“爸爸盒子”的盒子。里面放了许多可以让我回忆起父亲的东西。我不时从这个盒子里拿出这张照片,回忆往日。我记得许多年前一名年轻男子与他的新娘在结婚那天许下的誓言,我记得一个父亲和他女儿之间无言的承诺。

一个恪守生的承诺