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毕业季:苦涩的甜蜜

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曾经你是那么讨厌大学里的生活,讨厌这里的一切:老师枯燥的讲课、课堂上的积极分子、繁重的课后作业、性情乖戾的室友、食堂的大锅饭……但是当毕业在即,内心对这一切又突然变得不舍:那些曾经的失意和快乐,那些往昔的吵闹和笑声,所有这一切终将成为生命中永远也抹不去的回忆……

I know you guys have already read a couple of blogs about graduation; the ones that elaborated in 10 points how, after passing out1), the realisation dawns that the world out there is very evil and that college was pure bliss.

While these writings surely had their utility, what they failed to encapsulate2) was the experience itself; the four years of loathing that magically turn into a bitter sweet feeling as the end approaches.

I still remember an incident from freshman year when I complained to a teacher about the excessive workload and she said, with a smile reminiscent of days gone by, “When you are done with college, you will miss working all night long with your friends.”

I laughed sarcastically in response. Now I realise that the joke was on me3) all along.

What’s ironic though is the fact that through the course of four years, you pretend to hate every bit of your college life. The news of a cancelled class makes you jump up and down on your seat even though you are fully aware of the horrors of the make-up class that will be scheduled on a Sunday.

The dengue4) holidays come as pure unadulterated joy and you spend your days off with the guilty pleasure of knowing that while you celebrate your time off with cheap cinema, the rest of the city is in chaos.

On top of it all, there’s that constant and usual subterfuge5) among your friends that will put Star Plus6) aunties to shame. I mean Zoya is gossiping with Adil about Hira behind her back, but Hira and Zoya are BFFs (best friends forever) and also Zoya was Adil’s ex-girlfriend and now the current girlfriend of Taimur, who by the way, is Adil’s friend but secretly hates him and also tried to kick him out of the group—yes, that pretty much summarises it.

Making the college experience more fun are the thetas7) (the Greek mathematical symbol—yeah it really makes you wonder where they got that name from) in every class, also commonly known as nerds. These people will answer every rhetorical question8) with the loudest of “yes” and then look towards the teacher with puppy eyes, begging for appreciation. Other students, who rise from their slumber9) by the excited cries of the nerds, are left staring at them with a what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you expression.

And it doesn’t end in the classroom either. Every time you go to the instructor to request an extension in the term project submission date, the nerd will already be there. And not to help, mind you, but to stare at you in a nonchalant10) fashion and declare in an annoyingly innocuous11) tone that they are already half way through their project.