我既不能忘记,也不会忽视

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Tara Coughlin age 17

塔兰・考夫琳17岁

EVERY DAY is a learning process. Seven months ago I spent three days learning about a problem that has no clear, definite solution.The problem still waits; I have not solved it――yet.Isay"yet"becauseof what those three days taught me. The apparent insolubility of a problem is not a comfortable excuse to give in, but a call for fortitude in the struggle to achieve a solution.

I spent three days in August of 1999 in Philadelphia soup kitchens as part of a community outreach program organized by the Community Service Core.I am not a monument of piety.I was simply bored and looking to even out the score a little.I've never had to struggle for much; I was born into a wonderful family and a relatively secure financial situation.Others were born, and continue to be born, into less than nothing: poverty, drugs, prostitution.They don't deserve destitution any more than I deserve plenitude.

So for three days, I lived with about ten other volunteers in a parish-owned row home in northeast Philadelphia.There was one shower,little hot water,no beds,and no air conditioning. Sparse, but as temporary residence none of us minded much, especially when we witnessed the living conditions of the people we were there to help.During the day we served lunch at different kitchens.At night we split up to canvass downtown Philadelphia and tell the people on the street about shelters offering food and an escape from the heat.We talked to many people; some were grateful, others were angry, many were indifferent, a few were crazy. I listened and before I knew it, my thinking had changed.

I believe in the American Dream; if you work hard and make the most of what you have you can succeed.But how do you make the most of a cocaine addiction that began at age ten when the local dealer first got you hooked？ How do you succeed when you're kicked out of your house at age thirteen, picked up by a pimp on the street and forced into prostitution? If you have no family, where do you go after a maiming car accident puts you in the hospital for a month, you lose your job and you're left with bills your insurance doesn't cover？Those are only a few stories I heard during my three days of community service in one small section of my city.

When I decided to volunteer for this program it was not my intention to attempt to find a solution for poverty.I wanted to help some homeless people, feel good about myself, even a little self righteous, and move on, content that I had done my part in the war on poverty.The men, women, and children I spoke to made such detachment impossible.I couldn't make eye contact with these people without thinking: There has got to be a cure.This can't be it.There must be some simple solution that just hasn't occurred to anyone yet.I thought of nothing else. I strove to find the answer that was surely lurking somewhere in the recesses of my mind.The recesses proved barren; I could not solve the problem of poverty in my city after working in it and think about it unflaggingly for three days.

The problem remains.It confronts me every time another homeless person asks me for change on my way home.It's the coins jingling in the Styrofoam cup as I pass.It's the empty hand reaching out to me.It's the cardboard sign held up to my car window.So what do I do? I can't forget and I won't ignore.My own alternative is to hold this problem close, where every opportunity to chip away at it can be fully utilized.I know I will return to the kitchens, for I must keep contact with the concrete reality of poverty if I can ever hope to eradicate it.In the struggle to solve this massive dilemma I may one day come to the revelation that has eluded so many.Until then I have to keep going; in life there is no such thing as a simple solution.

每天都是一个学习过程。七个月前，我花了三天时间着重研究一个问题，这个问题没有明确肯定的答案。问题依然没有解决，我还是没有找到准确答案。我用了“还是”一词是因为那三天我学到了不少东西，一个问题明显没能解决并不能作为好的借口而罢手，它唤起了我坚忍不拔的毅力去完成解决问题的任务。

1999年8月，我参加了社区服务中心组织的社区帮助活动，在费城的流动厨房呆了三天。我并非虔诚，只是觉得有点无聊，希望能将自己的评分扯平一些。我根本没有必要太争强好胜，因为我生在一个幸福美满的家庭，有相对稳定的经济基础。其他一些人则生在几乎一无所有的家庭，只有贫穷、和。他们不应该那么穷，缺吃少穿的，而我却享受着丰裕的生活。

整整三天，我和其余十来个志愿者住在费城东北部的一幢联立房屋中，那是教区所辖的房屋，里面有一个淋浴，几乎没什么热水，没有床，没有空调。那里什么都没有，可是作为临时住所，我们谁都不怎么介意，特别是在看到我们想要帮助的那些人的生活状况之后。白天，我们在不同的流动厨房给人们供应午餐，夜晚，我们分散开到费城的闹市区去游说，告诉街上的人们避难所发吃的和避暑的事。我们讲给很多人听，一些人感激，一些人气恼，好多人漠不关心，也有几个人表示热心。我只管去听别人说的话，在真正弄清什么含义之前，我的想法已经发生了变化。

我相信美国梦。只要努力，充分发挥自己的潜能，你就会成功。但是当地方贩子引诱你上钩的时候，你又如何尽量克制十岁就开始有的可卡因瘾呢?当你十三岁时被轰出家门，在由街头妓院老板收留后，被强迫，你又如何对付?如果你出了车祸，住院一个月后，工作丢了，只留下一笔连保险公司都支付不了的账单，那该怎么办?这些只是我在市里一个小区做了三天的社区服务所听到的几件事。

我决定自愿参加这项活动，目的并不是要解决贫困问题。我想帮助几个无家可归的人，感觉自己很好心，甚至很正义，进而为自己在与贫困做斗争时尽了力而感到满足。我见到的那些男女老少使我改变了初衷，我再也不能熟视无睹，必须找办法解决。肯定有些简单的办法是谁都没有想到的，我不再考虑别的事情了，竭力寻找深藏在我内心的解决办法，结果一无所获，连续工作、思考了三天，我也找不到解决我市贫困问题的答案。

问题依然存在着。在我回家的路上，每当无家可归的人跟我要零钱的时候，我都会想到这个问题。它是我路过时，泡沫塑料杯中的钱币叮叮当当的响声；它是伸到我面前祈求的手；它是举到我汽车窗外的厚纸板牌子。那我又能做什么呢?我既不能忘记，又不能忽视。我自己的选择无非就是密切关注这个问题，只要一有机会，我们便不会放过。我知道自己还会到流动厨房去，因为如果希望根除贫困，就必须了解具体的情况。在解决这个大难题的斗争中，总有一天我会得到启示，有所发现。到那时，我还要坚持下去，生活中，绝没有简单的解决办法。