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精彩对白 第7期

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A

Father:Well, Sam, did you get the best marks in your class this term?

Sam:No,Daddy. Did you get the best salary(薪水)in your office?

B

Father:You’ve fought, you bad boy!You’ve lost a front tooth.

Son:No,I haven’t. It’s in my pocket.

C

Son:Why is the sky so high?

Father:So the birds don’t bump(碰)their heads.

D

Jimmy:Mum, the kids at school call me Bighead.

Mother:Don’t worry, son, there’s nothing in it.

E

Husband:Why can’t you make bread like my mother?

Wife:I would, if you could make dough(生面团)like your father.

F

Patient:Doctor, I have a terrible problem. Can you help me out?

Doctor:Certainly. Which way did you come in?

注:helpout有两解:①帮助某人;②帮助某人走出去。

G

Freddy:I can lift an elephant with one hand.

Teddy:I bet(打赌)you can’t.

Freddy:Find me an elephant with one hand, and I’ll show you.

H

Teacher:Fred, how can you prove the earth is round?

Fred:I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.

I

Passenger:What use is your timetable?The trains are never on time.

Railman:And how would you know they were late if it wasn’t for the timetable?

J

Jim:Last night I had a double rest.

Jack:How do you mean?

Jim:I dreamed I was sleeping.

K

Billy:What did I get for my English test?

Teacher:Well, I’ll give you the good news first. You at last spelt your name correctly.

L

Taxi driver:I can’t stop the car!I’ve lost control(控制)!

Passenger:For heaven’s sake(看在老天爷的分上), turn off the meter(计程表)!

M

Teacher:Tim, you know you can’t sleep in class.

Tim:I know. But if you were just a little quieter(安静), I could.

N

Jimmy:Hey, Dad, there’s a big black cat in the dining room.

Dad:That’s all right. Black cats are lucky.

Jimmy:But this one just ate your dinner.

O

Policeman:Now tell me, just what could the other driver have done to avoid(避免)this accident?

Injured(受伤的)driver:He could have gone down another street.

P

Lady:Have you ever tasted chicken soup before?

Man:No I never met a chicken who could cook.

Q

Teacher:Arnold, what would you like to do today?

Arnold:I’d like to graduate(毕业)today.

R

Teacher:Andy, what do you mean by crawling(匍匐前进,爬行)into the classroom three minutes late?

Andy:Well, you told me never to walk in late again.

S

Freddy:I can’t come in the water. I’m terrified(惊吓)of it.

Sam:Don’t worry. It’s not over your head.

Freddy:It will be when I faint(晕倒).

T

Teacher:Who can tell me what dinosaurs(恐龙)ate?

Student:Judging(判断)by the one in the museum, they didn’t eat anything.

U

Diner:I can’t eat this stuff(点心、蔬菜). Call the manager.

Waiter:It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.

V

Diner:Is this peach or apple pie?

Waiter:Can’t you tell from the taste?

Diner:No, I can’t.

Waiter:Well, then, what difference does it make?