精彩对白 第7期

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A

Father：Well, Sam, did you get the best marks in your class this term？

Sam：No，Daddy. Did you get the best salary（薪水）in your office？

B

Father：You’ve fought, you bad boy！You’ve lost a front tooth.

Son：No，I haven’t. It’s in my pocket.

C

Son：Why is the sky so high？

Father：So the birds don’t bump（碰）their heads.

D

Jimmy：Mum, the kids at school call me Bighead.

Mother：Don’t worry, son, there’s nothing in it.

E

Husband：Why can’t you make bread like my mother？

Wife：I would, if you could make dough（生面团）like your father.

F

Patient：Doctor, I have a terrible problem. Can you help me out？

Doctor：Certainly. Which way did you come in？

注：helpout有两解：①帮助某人；②帮助某人走出去。

G

Freddy：I can lift an elephant with one hand.

Teddy：I bet（打赌）you can’t.

Freddy：Find me an elephant with one hand, and I’ll show you.

H

Teacher：Fred, how can you prove the earth is round？

Fred：I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.

I

Passenger：What use is your timetable？The trains are never on time.

Railman：And how would you know they were late if it wasn’t for the timetable？

J

Jim：Last night I had a double rest.

Jack：How do you mean？

Jim：I dreamed I was sleeping.

K

Billy：What did I get for my English test？

Teacher：Well, I’ll give you the good news first. You at last spelt your name correctly.

L

Taxi driver：I can’t stop the car！I’ve lost control（控制）！

Passenger：For heaven’s sake（看在老天爷的分上）, turn off the meter（计程表）！

M

Teacher：Tim, you know you can’t sleep in class.

Tim：I know. But if you were just a little quieter（安静）, I could.

N

Jimmy：Hey, Dad, there’s a big black cat in the dining room.

Dad：That’s all right. Black cats are lucky.

Jimmy：But this one just ate your dinner.

O

Policeman：Now tell me, just what could the other driver have done to avoid（避免）this accident？

Injured（受伤的）driver：He could have gone down another street.

P

Lady：Have you ever tasted chicken soup before？

Man：No I never met a chicken who could cook.

Q

Teacher：Arnold, what would you like to do today？

Arnold：I’d like to graduate（毕业）today.

R

Teacher：Andy, what do you mean by crawling（匍匐前进，爬行）into the classroom three minutes late？

Andy：Well, you told me never to walk in late again.

S

Freddy：I can’t come in the water. I’m terrified（惊吓）of it.

Sam：Don’t worry. It’s not over your head.

Freddy：It will be when I faint（晕倒）.

T

Teacher：Who can tell me what dinosaurs（恐龙）ate？

Student：Judging（判断）by the one in the museum, they didn’t eat anything.

U

Diner：I can’t eat this stuff（点心、蔬菜）. Call the manager.

Waiter：It’s no use. He won’t eat it either.

V

Diner：Is this peach or apple pie？

Waiter：Can’t you tell from the taste？

Diner：No, I can’t.

Waiter：Well, then, what difference does it make?