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英语写作历来是学生感到颇为艰难的事,每当提起笔来总感到言之无物。其结果是所写的材料或是语言平泛无味,或是结构松散凌乱,无论是遣词造句还是句式结构都处在一个较低的水平层次上。而一篇好的文章必须让人读后感到用词独具匠心、结构严谨自然、层次泾谓分明、阐述精辟到位才能使自己的表达胜人一筹。写好书面的关键首先要学会认真审题,只有明确了写作目标,才能使自己所写的内容有深度、广度。现结合2013全国部分省、市的高考英语试题,对不同书面表达的内容加以评析,从中获取写好书面表达的灵感。
一、言简意赅、点石成金
书面表达的内容并非是词语的堆积,而是要做到能用恰当的词语作出精辟的论述。纵观2013江苏的书面表达的参考文便会有这样的体验。全文以观察两幅图的内容为主体,要求学生结合所给的标题Actions Speak Louder than Words,从中受到何种启示。阅读完该文的内容会感悟到文以简洁为贵的特色。
Actions Speak Louder than Words
People celebrate Earth Day differently. In Picture one, a man is trying to put up a banner on a lonely tree surrounded by stumps, but in vain, while Picture two shows a couple happily planning trees.
The message conveyed here is clear: “Actions speak louder than words.” Our earth is suffering severe damage. Should we just pay lip service or take practical measures to protect it? The answer is definitely the latter. Immediate actions should be taken, like stopping cutting down trees, to better the environment.
Actions are important in other fields, too. Instead of shouting empty slogans, it is more meaningful to donate books and sports goods to children in need. We should strictly and voluntarily follow traffic rules, stopping at the red light rather than complaining about traffic jams. Only when we match our words with actions can we make a difference in whatever we hope to accomplish. (2013江苏高考试题)
第一句中用differently代替了常常出现的in different ways.第二句中的but in vain言简意赅,树木已被砍伐,悬挂横幅又有何意义,简洁的话语不由得让人深思,一语点明了图画的内涵。紧接着用while表明了强烈的对比,用happily planning trees一带而过,既突出了图中的情景,又将人物的情感和盘托出,一个happily足以说明。整个段落用寥寥无几的话语就表达了两幅图的内容,可谓惜墨如金。
第二小节中的the latter最为典型,其意义代替了前面所提到的take practical measures,起到了指代的作用,从而省略了用更多的笔墨去加以论述。而后一句中的better更起了一词之奇的功能作用,蕴含了保护、美化、有利于等内涵意义,突显了点石成金的作用。第三段落中的两个结构用得恰如其分,Instead of的运用阐明了两种不同的态度,rather than将两种截然不同的行为方式加以对比,使得整个句子得到有机的衔接,既表达了不同的做法又起到了简明扼要的效果。
二、层层推进、环环相扣
写好书面表达绝非仅仅是用恰当的话语表达内容,还要注意所写的内容在层次结构上是否体现上下连贯的原则。许多学生的习作常常会出现一些东一榔头西一棒的现象,从而导致层次凌乱、阐述松弛的结果。因此在写作时要注意叙述的内容能否前后一致,学会层层推进、环环相扣,阅读浙江省的书面表达便能体会到这一原则。
One thing Im Proud of
I still remember how I became a good table tennis player.
The first day I went to high school, I saw some of my classmates playing table tennis. Amazed at how skilful they were, I was determined to be just as good. Later on, I often watched them carefully to learn their techniques. Then I kept practicing until I became confident enough to challenge the good players. At the end of the term I became one of the best players in my class.
I am really proud of this experience, because it helps me realize that we all can fulfill our potential and achieve our goals through hard work. It also helps me better understand the proverb“Practice makes perfect”. (2013浙江高考试题)
本文让学生就One thing Im Proud of展开叙述,所以在构思时首先要写出值得自豪的原因以及从中得到的启示。要根据自己的经历详细叙述事情经过,然后对其原因加以剖析,在此基础上提出自己的看法或评述。
纵观全文作者首先提出能成为一名优秀的乒乓球手而感到自豪。在接下来的段落中侧重讲述了事情的经过。用Amazed at how skilful they were,表达其情感,用determined to be just as good表达了其决心。再用一系列的具体动词watched them carefully,learn their techniques,kept practicing, challenge the good players.娓娓道来地叙述了其成长的经过,既有条理性又给人以真实之感,完全符合事物发展的顺序。第三部分则阐述了个人的体验,用两个helps论述了从中得到的启示,能充分挖掘个人的潜能和实现其奋斗目标,并能感悟到“实践出真知”的真谛。
三、阐述细微、说理透彻
阅读一些学生的作文常常会有这样的感受,在针对某一问题或现象时所阐述的内容缺乏深刻的揭示。常常是浮光掠影、轻描淡写地敷衍几句,未能从理性的高度去对此作出评论,从而给人以肤浅的感觉。而一篇优秀的书面表达作者可能会针对某一问题提出自己的见解。其议论常常精彩无比从而引人深思。阅读下面这篇文章,也许你会有不同的感受。
From the picture we can see a family of three walking on a long red carpet. The son, well dressed, waves proudly in the middle while the father behind bends forward to hold the jacket and the mother in front rolls out the carpet, sweating.
It shows a common phenomenon nowadays that children are the focus of families, shouldering the hope of their parents. Parents arrange everything for their children and spare no effort to pave the way for their success. As a consequence, children become so reliant on their parents that they have no independent thought or creative ideas.
Such a situation is of great concern. In my opinion, overprotection and too much care are extremely bad for childrens development. Instead of doing everything for them, parents should encourage their children to overcome difficulties and inspire them to develop by themselves. Only in this way can they grow up to be independent and become truly successful.(2013福建高考试题)
该文以漫画的形式命题,反映了当今家庭“以孩子为中心,父母是臣仆“这一社会现象。首段描述了漫画的内容,用三个不同的动词waves proudly,bends forward,rolls out the carpet刻画了儿子与父母的动作。现在分词sweating表示伴随情况以突显其辛劳程度。该漫画所要表现的是现今父母包揽一切,孩子过度依赖的现象。
第二段侧重从“孩子的成长与教育”、“父母包办”、“孩子过分依赖父母”等角度分析产生这一问题的原因。子女肩负着父母的希望,父母为子女安排好一切,不遗余力地为他们的成功铺平道路。这样的现象在日常生活中屡见不鲜,真是可怜天下父母心。这样的分析既合情又合理。shouldering the hope of,spare no effort,pave the way for their success几个短语的使用恰到好处地反映了这一事实。其结果会导致子女过分依赖父母,毫无独立的思想和创意的观念。一个过渡性词语As a consequence将其结果和盘托出,起到了阐述细微、说理透彻的特点。
针对此现象应如何解决,作者首先论述了其危害性,包办代替一切对孩子的成长极为不利。作为父母该如何做,用Instead of作为反衬指明父母不应包办一切。文章用几个动词较好地论述了解决问题的方法。encourage them to overcome difficulties,inspire them to develop by themselves 成为父母应采取的行之有效的方式。只有这样才能使孩子真正独立并获得成功。文章从感性到理想,给人以阐述透彻的感觉。
四、分析精辟、阐述到位
在实际写作中,一些学生所写的内容往往局限于将所提供的语言点作一些简单的叙述,不知如何根据实际内容进行精辟的阐述。翻来覆去、局限于几个语言点,因而所叙内容干瘪无味。不能就某一事物或现象作出一番深刻的揭示和论述。参阅下面的文章也许你会有所顿悟。
The passage states that nowadays a large number of people are not enthusiastic for their work and ignore the importance of ordinary jobs.
After reading the passage, I am lost in deep thought. It reminds me of the present employment situation among young people. On the one hand, they complain that the competition in job searching is so fierce; on the other hand, a lot of factories cantemploy enough workers. As a matter of fact, many ordinary jobs such as cleaning streets are worth doing. Without dustmens work, the streets would be filled with rubbish and the city would be out of order. The environment around us would get worse and worse. Take me as a typical example. I once lived alone for a week when my parents went out traveling. I was too lazy to clean my house and a week later, I couldnt bear to stay in my own room. Only then did I realize how import such a little thing as cleaning the house was.
Therefore, there is no reason to look down upon ordinary jobs for us. As young people, we are supposed to work hard and enjoy our work, no matter how ordinary it is. (2013广东高考试题)
该文要求学生在阅读文章的基础上畅谈个人的感受。首先要求学生学会对某一事物阐明自己的观点。无论是反对的观点或赞成的观点,都要做到概括精辟,阐述到位。因此,在写作时首先要吃透所提供内容的精髓,才能作出合理的概括,一针见血地阐明其道理。
该文富有教育意义和时代感,因为当今许多年轻人的择业观不健康,他们看不起那些“小”的工作,眼高手低。而作为社会的一员,每个人的工作都是重要的。只要所做的工作符合社会的需要,平凡的岗位也能作出巨大的贡献。两个过渡性词on the one hand和on the other hand烘托出截然不同的结果:一方面大学生求职难,而另一方面用人企业又难以招到足够的工人。原因何在?人们常常忽视一些被认为是低下的工作。作者通过自身的体验感悟到“小”事的重要性。在文章的最后,作者深切地感悟到年轻人绝不能轻视普通的工作,而应努力工作、热爱自己的本职工作。深刻的论述道出了以小见大的道理,写出了个人的见解,也写出了社会的现实。这种结合个人情况的阐述表达了作者积极、健康的心态,因此在写作时应注重对事物的精辟分析,写出自己的真实情感。
综观上述几段内容可以看出,语言的表达是多样性的,要想把自己的书面表达写得有深度、有独特性,必然需要有其独特的表达形式才能唤起读者的兴趣。徘徊于语言表达技巧门外,不去深究语言表达所特有的形式,要想提高书面表达的水平只是一句空话。因此,如若想要不断地在写作上更上一层楼,必要时可借鉴不同高考的试题,在实际写作时认真审视文章的体裁,针对不同的要求确定写作的思路,才能使自己的书面表达日趋缜密。
(作者:吴明山,江苏省海安高级中学)