离家闯世界

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It’s the last year of high school, and young minds are turning their fickle1 attention to the thought of leaving home. This seems a natural progression: parents have child; raise child; help child with bumps and bruises, homework and car insurance; child graduates from high school and flees far from parents, returning on weekends to do laundry and eat home-cooked meals. But what happens when a child loses home right before leaving?

My family has lived in my home since I was two weeks old. Seventeen years later, as I got ready to leave for university, my parents decided that our charming little house was no longer the ideal abode and that it was time to move.2 And naturally, I panicked3.

At first the prospect of leaving my childhood home was gruesome.4 After all, this was the place I used to run around with friends; where I got sunburned chasing ants with sidewalk chalk5; where I would sit for hours staring out the window, making up songs about the passersby. If we were to move, the new house wouldn’t be my home at all, just a strange, new place. I felt that these were all valid grounds for total outrage until I discussed it with a friend who’d moved several times. He couldn’t fathom why I’d be so upset about moving a few subway stops away.6 Clearly I was just being silly and overly sentimental. After all, I’d be moving out to go to university. But something still didn’t sit quite right.

这是高中生涯的最后一年时光，年轻躁动的心正想着离家外出闯荡。父母给予孩子生命、养育孩子长大、在孩子磕了碰了时给予照顾、在作业不会时提供辅导、资助买车之后还不忘给上车险；孩子高中毕业后却离家远远的，只在周末需要洗衣服或者想吃家里饭菜的时候才回来。这一切似乎是再自然不过了。但是，如果这个孩子还没到离家去闯荡的时候就没有了家，又该怎么办呢？

自我出生两周起，我们全家就住在这所房子里。17年过去了，我刚准备要离开家去上大学，爸妈就觉得这可爱的小房子住着不再舒适而决定搬家了。可想而知，我感到了恐慌。

开始的时候，我一想到要离开儿时生活的家就觉得心慌慌。毕竟，在这里，我曾经和伙伴们追逐嬉闹；为了用彩色粗粉笔追捕蚂蚁而被晒伤；常常坐着凝望窗外几个钟头，为来往的路人编歌。一旦搬家，新房子只不过是个陌生的新地方，不再是家了。所以，我觉得我完全有理由大发雷霆。但是和一个搬过好几次家的朋友聊过这件事后，我的想法有所改变。他完全无法理解我，不明白只不过是搬到几个地铁站那么远的地方，我怎么会如此郁闷呢？很明显地，我只是有些犯傻，过于感情用事罢了。毕竟，我马上就要离家上大学了。不过，有些事我还是没想明白。

I’d come to terms with the idea of leaving childhood things behind, despite the fact that the decision to move wasn’t mine. After all, throwing away childhood things is all well and good7, but it’s better if it’s your choice. I’d still banked on coming home for a nostalgic visit every now and then, perhaps with the selfish hope of finding my room just as I’d left it.8

This hope of a personal shrine was crushed by my parents’ stubborn levelheadedness.9 It seemed their desire for a better house in a better neighborhood far outstripped10 my vague yearning for monuments in my honor. Their selfish rationality even extended so far as to plan our move in early December, when I’d be in the throes of midterm evaluations and university applications.11 In a horrifyingly ironic twist, they inferred that I was mature enough to handle the added responsibility of moving, along with my own work and extra-curriculars.

And then it hit me: this is what the move was really about. I wasn’t concerned with losing my childhood bedroom, or having to take an extra bus to get to school. What was bothering me was that I’d be confronted with a huge, tangible reminder that I’d soon be completely responsible for myself.

When I do go to university, I’ll go without a safe haven12 to come home to. Of course I’ll have my family’s love and support, but symbolically I’ll never be able to go home again.

As graduating high-school students, we’re all in love with the idea of going away and having wild adventures, provided13 we always have someplace to return to. Leaving the family home behind is really just growing up without a safety net. It’s not an epic change, but still nothing to sniff at14. The move from one place in life to another is an important one. Because it’s true, you can never go home. Not really. But maybe, once you’ve had an adventure or two, you can go back for a nice visit.

尽管不是我决定要搬家的，我还是同意把童年用过的东西处理掉。其实，把它们扔了也没什么，只不过最好是我自己想扔才扔的。我还指望能时不时地回老房子来个怀旧之旅呢，也许还自私地希望我的房间没有变样。

爸妈顽固的冷静打碎了我想留个私人圣地的念想。他们想要换个好环境，住个条件更好的房子，而我则茫然地渴望想要留住一些自己的纪念品。看起来他们的想法比我的重要。爸妈自私的理智还表现在，他们甚至要在12月初就搬家，可那个时候我正为期中测评和大学申请苦恼呢！最出乎我意料的是，他们得出了结论，认为我已经长大了，除了学习和课外活动，也能够应对搬家这额外的事情了。

随后我突然就想明白了：这才是搬家真正的含义。我在意的不是没有了童年的卧室，也不是要换乘巴士才能到学校。真正困扰我的是，搬家就是一个巨大的看得见摸得着的提示符，提醒着我，我马上就要对自己负全责了。

等大学生活真正开始时，家不会再是我的避难所。家人当然仍然爱我、支持我，但是，就象征意义而言，我再也回不了家了。

作为即将高中毕业的学生，只要总有那么一个地方在等着我们回来，我们就满脑袋想的都是离开家尽情地闯世界。离开为我们遮风挡雨的家其实意味着离开温室、长大成人。这虽然不算是重大的改变，但也绝不是可以嗤之以鼻的小事。从生活了很久的地方搬到另外一个地方是一个重要的变化。因为，你再也回不到从前的家了，这是真的。不过，或许一旦你经历过一番小闯荡，还是可以来个甜蜜的回家之旅哦。

单词卡片

1. fickle: 多变的，易变的。

2. charming: 迷人的，可爱的；ideal: 理想的，完美abode: 住所。

3. panic: 使恐慌，其过去式为panicked。

4. prospect: 前景；gruesome: 可怕的。

5. sidewalk chalk:（用于在路面上作画的）彩色粗粉笔。

6. fathom: 领会；upset: 心烦的。

7. all well and good: 也好。

8. bank on: 指望，依靠；nostalgic: 怀旧的。

9. shrine: 圣地；levelheadedness: 头脑冷静。

10. outstrip: 胜过。

11. rationality: 理智；in the throes of:处于……困境之中。

12. haven: 避难所。

13. provided: 只要。

14. sniff at: 嗤之以鼻，轻视。