思河随想 第7期

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I often sit near the northern end of the 1)Mississippi River on a park bench, thinking. I think that someone at the southern end of the river may be sitting on a similar bench and watching the river roll, just like me. I imagine that the river unites us. We think together about life and its complexities. There will never be answers to all our questions because there are too many and not enough time and wisdom for answers. Sometimes we get overwhelmed with our thoughts and think we should know the answer to every tormenting question.

We sit for a long time. The water flows, coming to us and passing us just like each event in life. It absorbs my every unanswerable question and carries it downstream to my companion, so he can think about it too. The gentle fall wind blows against my face as I sit on the bench, letting time pass, and at the same time, the southern heat is making my companion uncomfortable, but he remains there. We are sharing thoughts, two souls staring out at the river. I feel overwhelmed to think the thoughts, I feel sad about some of them, and I even feel proud sometimes to have gotten a certain distance in my thinking.

My companion and I come to some conclusions, but even as those are developing, more questions emerge. We forget about our daily lives as the wind and the water pull us deeper into our own heads. Our brains are whirlpools, and the thoughts are spinning rapidly. Meanwhile the world continues and the clock ticks, but we are 2)oblivious to the sounds of those around us; we are trying to figure out the mysteries that lie within every person. But we can’t. We can never figure out solutions to our curiosity. Many times we don’t even know the question; we just know that there is something that caused us to hunger for answers. To an observer we each look like a typical person sitting on a bench by the river, but there are intense battles going on inside where answers are trying to break free.

Maybe the reason we can never find the answer is because the only real answers are more questions. We don’t realize that maybe some of these thoughts are actually the answers. The fact that we are wondering could be the answer itself. But whenever I am thinking, the answers always seem so hopelessly far away, like my companion to the south. To us, it’s as if these answers are the water in a pond. Whenever any person around the world asks or thinks a question, they have thrown a stone into the water. It spreads 3)ripples on the water, which push the answers farther away and make them harder to find. If this is the case, my companion and I wonder, how can we ever reach the answers? Each question just pushes them farther from us.

Perhaps people weren’t meant to know everything. Perhaps every time we come to a question the force that created us pushes the answers away. When my companion and I think of the universe and all that could be in its depths, the earth seems pretty insignificant. There could be many others out there who know more about the answers to life than we do.

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My companion and I suddenly shift positions on our benches. We have managed to put our thoughts away for the moment. We are feeling better about living our lives now. On the north and south ends of the river, the two of us stand up from our benches and travel back to where we should be. We think a lot, and if we ever feel overwhelmed again and want to try to sort out our thoughts we know we can always head back to the bench by the Mississippi River.

我常坐在靠近密西西比河北端的一张公园长凳上，陷入沉思，总觉得河的南端也会有张类似的长凳，也会有人坐在上面，像我那样凝望大河翻涌。我会想象，大河让我俩心思汇聚，共看人生，共理其千头万绪。我们的疑问，不可能都找到答案，只因问题太多，时间太少，智慧有限。有时，思绪排山倒海而来，我们会执著为心中恼人困惑一一寻解。

我们久久安坐。河水滔滔，朝我们来，离我们去，就像人生种种际遇。河水吸走我心中每个未解疑问，带去下游给我那位同伴，让他也一同思考。我坐在长凳上，轻柔的秋风拂面而来，时间不觉而过，那边厢，南方的热浪令我的同伴不甚舒爽，但他仍留在那儿沉思。我们分忧共虑，两颗心灵凝望着一河流水。满脑思绪，难以抽离，想着想着，时觉伤悲，时而又为自己在思海征途上的进展而意得志满。

同伴和我得出一些结论，即便刚想出个所以然，更多疑问顿生。微风、流水让我们陷入更深的沉思中，忘却了庸常生活。思绪在脑海漩涡中高速旋转。此时，地球继续运转，时钟继续嘀嗒作响，然而我们却浑然不觉周遭一切声响；我们要解开每人心底的谜团，却做不到。我们就是自己的疑问也无法解答。往往连问题是什么也难以明言；只是感觉有点什么触起一股求思求解的渴望。旁人看来，我们只是坐于河畔长凳上的一般人那样，可实际上，我们心中思绪正激烈交战，答案蓄势闪现。

苦寻答案而不获，也许因为真正的答案是更多的问题。我们没意识到，或许有些念头本身就是答案，去想已经是一种解答。然而每当我思考，总感觉答案遥遥难及，有如我那坐在河流南头的同伴。对我们来说，答案就像一塘池水，世人每问每思，是投入池塘中的一卵一石，水面泛起涟漪串串，答案被推至更远，愈加难寻。倘若真如是，我俩不禁疑惑，到底怎样才能找到答案？越问，答案越远。

也许，人注定不可能洞悉一切。或者，每次我们想到问题，造化总要把答案推开。当我和同伴想到宇宙万物至深至根源问题时，尘世似乎变得无限渺小。人生的答案，该有其他人比我们懂得多。

我和同伴忽然在长凳上挪了挪，暂时从各自的思绪抽离开来。过自己的生活，感觉好多了。在河的北端和南端，我俩分别从长凳上起来，回到本来要去的地方。这么一坐，我们想到了很多。要是再感觉困扰不安，想理出个头绪，我们知道，我们总可以回到密西西比河畔的长凳，坐在那儿。

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