Letter of suggestion

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假定你是某杂志社的编辑Linda，刚收到某中学学生李华的来信，他告诉你他因不善于交友而倍感苦恼。请你以Linda的名义根据下面提示给他写封回信，并适当提出自己的建议。

提示：1. 友善、乐于助人；

2. 多与他人交流；

3. 多参加活动；

注意：1. 词数不少于120；

2. 可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。

Dear LiHua，

.

Yours sincerely，

Linda

习作一

Dear Li Hua，

How is it going？ I have known that you have trouble in making friends with others. But you don’t worried about it. Here are some suggestions which may be of use to you.

First of all， you should make it clear that kindness is the base of friendship. So you should show your friendliness to others and help them whenever it is necessary. Besides， you should often communicate with people and gradually know each other. Last but not least， you should make most of your time to take active part in activities if possible. As we all know， true friends never come easily. Take more time to communicate with others is very important.

I always believe that friends play an important role in our life. So I’m looking forward to receiving the news that you have got along well with others and found true friends.

Yours sincerely，

Linda

（大冶一中 卫 汇）

点评 这是一篇中档习作。本文的优点在于以下几个方面：

1. 本文表达流畅，层次分明，分段合理。作者在开头恰到好处地使用了be of use句型；在行文中，用first of all， besides， last but not least逐一提出解决问题的建议，使文章很有条理；文章的结尾简洁而又富有鼓励性，使文章给人良好的第一印象。

2. 作者运用了一些高级词汇和短语，如gradually， have trouble in doing， be of use， make most of， play an important role in， look forward to doing， get along well with等，使文章的语言丰富多彩。

3. 作者尝试运用了一些不同的、较复杂的高级句式结构。如：

Here are some suggestions which may be ... （定语从句）；

... you should make it clear that ... （it作形式宾语）；

... whenever it is necessary. （让步状语从句）；

As we all know ... （非限定性定语从句）；

So I’m looking forward to receiving the news that ... （同位语从句）。

本篇习作也以下几点不足之处。

1. 通过写作要求来看，本文要点不够齐全。最好在中间一段插入作者本人的其它建议，使内容更加充实。

2. 有些地方用词不够准确，语法方面也有一些错误。如：

... don’t worried about it应改为... needn’t be worried about it；

take active part in activities应改为take an active part in activities；

Take more time to communicate ... is important. 应改为It is important to take time to communicate ...。

3. 部分过渡词使用不当以及部分句式重复使用多次。如第一段中but和第二、三段中so，其实可以尝试使用不同的高级词汇，如however，thus，therefore， as a result等，可以使语言更丰富、鲜活。又如文中第二段中... you should show your friendliness ...， ... you should often communicate with ...和... you should make most use of，可以看出其句式结构太单一，我们不妨改变句式结构，例如将第二句改为... communicate with people， and you will gradually know each other，第三句改为... you’re supposed to make most use of your time to take an active part in activities， which will do good to you，从而避免了多次使用同一句式。

习作二

Dear Li Hua，

I’m sorry that you’re feeling worried to make friends. I’d like to make some suggestions， from which you may benefit a lot.

First of all， be friendly and polite to others and always ready to help others. The more you help others， the more they will feel like making friends with you. Secondly， what is known to us is that comumunication can avoid misunderstandings. You will make more friends as long as you communicate with others. Thirdly， there is no doubt that taking an active part in activities is a good way to make friends. Most importantly， friends should be faithful to each other， which is of great use.

As the saying goes， a life without a friend is a life without a sun. It is friendship that really counts in our life. Only when you know how to make friends can your problem be solved. I firmly believe that you can develop a good friendship with others.

Yours sincerely，

Linda

（大冶一中 左欢）

点评 这是一篇高分习作。

1. 本文要点齐全，分段合理，语言得体，行文流畅，表意连贯。

2. 文中使用了丰富多彩的高级词汇，如：avoid， faithful， count， frimly，develop， make some suggestions， benefit from， be ready to do， take an active part in等。

3. 文中还运用了较多的灵活多变的高级句式结构。如：

I’d like to make some suggestions， from which you may ... （非限定性定语从句）

The more you help others， the more they will feel like ... （比较级）

... what is known to us is that ... （名词性从句）

... as long as you communicate more with others ... （条件状语从句）

There is no doubt that ... （固定句型）

It is friendship that really counts ... （强调句型）

Only when we know how to make friends can your problem ... （倒装句）

通过这篇优秀的文章，我们可以总结一些好的写作方式。首先，我们的文章要让读者“一见钟情”，必须做到字迹工整清晰，分段合理，尤其是第一段和最后一段的语言要简洁精练。其次，如何使文章层次分明，读起来朗朗上口呢？过渡词的运用必不可少，如firstly， secondly， besides，in my opinion， in a word，还有一些高级副词如actually， luckily， as a result等。最后，要使你的文章有亮点，当然要看你能否丰富而又准确地使用高级词汇和句式。习作二中作者使用了丰富多彩的词汇以及高级复杂的句式，显示了作者扎实的语言功底。文章结尾处巧妙地使用了谚语As the sayings goes， a life without a friend is a life without a sun，更是锦上添花。