一位“裸婚”新娘的自白

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One day, back in 2002, university graduates Leon Han and Yvonne Feng made the decision to walk down the 1)aisle “naked.”

Although they did 2)don clothes, the union―called a “naked marriage”―lacked some of the other finery that usually accompanies a Chinese wedding: a house, a car, a banquet, a 3)lavish honeymoon or even a ring. They chose to be bound in matrimony but not by material things.

“Looking back, our decision was a bit of a gamble,” says Feng. “Thankfully it paid off.”

Getting married is as easy as buying movie tickets

Perhaps it was because the couple had known each other since high school and got along well, or because the French majors had both planned to migrate to Quebec after graduation, or maybe even because they were both 4)overwhelmed by 5)impulsiveness. So when Han asked Feng “Why don’t we get married?” her answer was a simple“Why not?”

2002年的一天，利昂・韩（音译）和伊温妮・冯（音译）这两名刚毕业的大学生步入了“裸婚”的行列。

尽管他们其实“有衣蔽体”，但这种被称为“裸婚”的成亲方式却少了传统中式婚礼原有的一些其他配置：房子、车子、婚宴、豪华蜜月，甚至连婚戒也没有。他们选择了受婚姻约束，而非受物质束缚。

伊温妮说：“回头看，当时的决定真像一场赌博，庆幸的是我赌对了。”

领结婚证和买电影票没什么两样

也许是因为这两口子自打高中时就认识，感情一直很好，又或者是因为两人都是法语专业的学生，打算毕业后移民到魁北克，又可能因为他们彼此都一时冲动。所以，当利昂跟伊温妮说：“要不我们结婚吧？”伊温妮就顺口回了句“也行呀。”

However, one cannot put a quart(夸脱，容量单位，1夸脱越等于946毫升，1夸脱约等于2品脱) in a pint(品脱，容量单位) cup. ―Charlotte Perkins Gilman

Obtaining a marriage certificate was no big deal, according to Feng. She does not rank it as one of her life’s more important moments.

“If you 6)do away with all the 7)rituals and big gestures, marriage does not fundamentally change who you are,” explains Feng. “If I can buy a movie ticket because I feel like watching a movie, why can’t I get a marriage certificate because I feel like getting married?”

The couple had no intention of holding a wedding ceremony, not back then and not any time soon. Feng chalks this up to 8)trepidation, and a 9)tinge of 10)cowardice.

She says she feels that with no large wedding ceremony, no obligation to wear a wedding band and no pressure to refer to each others’ parents as “Mom” and“Dad,” their relationship feels as fresh as when they first fell in love.

Wedding ceremonies in China also tend to make you feel like you have 11)gatecrashed your parents’party, says Feng.

The majority of the guests are friends of the bridal couple’s parents, rather than their own.

“If I held a wedding ceremony,” says Feng, “I’d probably wouldn’t know most of the people but I’ll still have to smile and drink with them and get 12)quizzed onstage by the MC about when we had our first kiss and other nonsense. I’d rather not be someone’s stage prop.”

在伊温妮看来，领结婚证没什么大不了的，也没觉得那是人生别重要的一件事。

“要是撇开所有仪式和排场，婚姻并没有从根本上改变你的什么。我想去看电影就可以买张电影票，那我想结婚为啥不能就去领个结婚证？”伊温妮解释道。

这对小夫妻并没有意愿去举办一场婚礼――本就不曾想过，以后也没这打算。伊温妮称这是出于恐惧，也有点胆怯。

她说自己觉得不大办婚礼、不戴婚戒，亦没有互称对方的父母为“爸爸妈妈”的压力，两人的关系会感觉如最初热恋般新鲜。

伊温妮还说，传统的中式婚礼也会让人感觉像是自己闯进了父母的亲友会。

大部分的宾客都是新婚夫妇双方父母的朋友，而非他们的。

“真要办了，说不定大多数人我都不认识，但我还得笑着脸敬酒。然后站在台上被司仪问很多类似何时第一次亲吻这样的无聊话题。我才不要被人当猴耍呢。”伊温妮说道。

And so Feng and Han continued until 2009, when both parties’ parents insisted that they inform their friends and family they were in fact already man and wife. The couple then 13)reluctantly held a gathering to break the news of their 14)marital status to a small circle of close 15)kin.

But even then, they did not wear neither a gown nor a suit, and there wasn’t a wedding ring either.

“It was too cold to wear a wedding gown in the winter,” says Feng. “Besides, we were not looking to hold an 16)exclusive red carpet event. We just wanted to show our relatives what we were usually like as a couple. To 17)get all dolled up in an expensive wedding gown would feel too unnatural.”

Married life in a rented apartment

When they got married, both Han and Feng were just entering the 18)work force and learning to be 19)self-reliant. Unwilling to borrow money from their parents to buy an apartment, as many newlyweds do, the couple rented an old studio apartment in Hongkou, in northern part of Shanghai.

“In today’s society and at my current age, it would be unthinkable for a girl to live in such conditions after marriage,” says Feng. “But we had just graduated and were both struggling to establish our careers, it felt like the right thing to do. I didn’t feel that anything was 20)amiss.”

After two years in their studio, Feng and her husband were able to afford to rent a two-bedroom 21)condo. And in 2008, the couple finally bought and moved into a new apartment they could truly call“home.”

就这样一直到2009年，双方的父母都坚持他们应该告知亲友他们其实已经结婚了，这小两口才勉强搞了个聚会，向关系最密切的小部分亲戚宣布了这个消息。

就算在那时候，他们也没穿婚纱或者礼服，同样没戴婚戒。

“因为是冬天，穿婚纱太冷了。而且我们也没打算搞得煞有介事。我们俩只想将我们平常生活的一面展示给亲友看。穿着婚纱，浓妆艳抹的样子会让人觉得很不自然。”伊温妮说道。

婚后从一间破租房开始

结婚那会儿，两人也才投身职场，开始学着自食其力。两人都不想像其他新婚夫妇那样向父母借钱买房，于是就在上海北面的虹口区租了一个老旧的单间。

“以现在社会的状况和我当下的年纪，一个女孩子婚后过这样的日子，简直不可思议。”伊温妮说道，“可当时我们是刚毕业，两人都在为工作打拼，那样做似乎就是正确的。我没觉得有什么落差。”

在那里住了两年，夫妻俩的积蓄足够租一户两室的小公寓了。一直到2008年，他们终于可以搬进他们自己新买的、一个算得上真正的“家”了。

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished(完成) by people who have

kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all. ―Dale Carnegie

Looking back on the past nine years makes the couple somewhat 22)sentimental.

Thanks to the “naked” marriage, life was much simplier.

Unlike other couples, their relationship was spared the strain of having to discuss sensitive and potentially contentious matters relating to the wedding such as the 23)dowry, gifts, 24)venue rental costs and whose family should pay what. With man and wife both sharing the burden of starting a new life together, the relationship got an added 25)dimension of equality.

The honeymoon that never happened

In July 2009, they decided to take a holiday in Thailand to make up for the honeymoon that they had put off for so long. Feng was so excited that she spent a month planning the trip.

Two weeks before the departure date, they were hit with a pleasant surprise―Feng was pregnant. For the sake of the baby, the couple decided to 26)forego their long-awaited honeymoon.

“We had no car, no house, no diamond ring and no wedding dinner,” says Feng. “I guess not having a honeymoon made us the 27) prototype ‘naked’ couple after all.”

Though not entirely free of regret when looking back on her choices in life, Feng says she is happy with what she and her husband have achieved.

“Most people achieve their material aims eventually, though they might not do it in the same order,” she says. “And sometimes when you let go of some things, you end up gaining more. At least we were young then and able to take hardship. We did not force ourselves or others to act in a certain way―we just stayed true to ourselves.”

回想结婚后九年的生活，两口子都很感慨。

因为是“裸婚”，生活都简单很多。

跟其他的夫妇不同，他们的婚姻关系免去了因讨论与婚礼相关事宜而带来的潜在的敏感和有争议的问题，例如讨论嫁妆、礼金、婚礼场地，以及哪家负责哪些费用等等。两人共同分担开创新生活的重担，这段婚姻关系更添一份平等。

错过的蜜月

2009年7月，他们决定去泰国度假，把推迟已久的蜜月补上。为此，伊温妮兴奋地精心筹划了一个月。

可就在临行前两周，一个意外的惊喜出现了――伊温妮怀孕了。为小宝贝着想，两人只好放弃了这次期待很久的蜜月。

伊温妮说：“我们无车无房无钻戒，不办婚礼，连蜜月都没有，我想我们真是不折不扣的‘裸婚’族了。”

虽然在回想过去的选择时，伊温妮也不无遗憾，但她说对自己与丈夫的成就感到很欣慰。

她说：“大多数人最后都会实现他们物质上的目标，只是顺序打乱了而已。有时放弃一部分，才能获得更多。还好那时我们都年轻，能吃苦。我们没有强迫自己去走一条和别人一样的路――我们只是坚持了自己的原则。”