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Television Shock

When the TV went off in the Bufkins house in Forest Hills, New York, panic set in.First, Bufkins thought it was his set in the living room, so he rushed into his bedroom and turned on that set. Nothing. The phone rang and Mrs.Bufkins heard her sister say that there was a black out.She hung up and said to her husband, "It isn't your set.Something'shappenedtothetop of Empire State Building. "

Bufkins said,"Who are you?"

"I'm your wife, Edith. "

"Oh," Bufkins said,"then I suppose those kids in there are mine. "

"That's right," Mrs. Bufkins said. "If you ever got out of that armchair in front of the TV set, you'd know us. "

"Boy, they're really grown," Bufkins said, looking at his son and daughter. "How old are they now?"

"Thirteen and fourteen," Mrs. Bufkins replied.

"I'll be darned. Hi, kids. "

"Who's he?" Bufkins's son, Henry, asked.

"It's your father," Mrs. Bufkins said.

"I'm pleased to meet you," Bufkins's daughter, Mary, said shyly.There was an embarrassed silence all around.

"Look," said Bufkins, finally,"I know I haven't been much of a father, but now that the TV's out, I'd like to make it up to you. "

"How?" asked Henry.

"Well, let's just talk," Bufkins said , "That's the best way to get acquainted."

"What do you want to talk about?" Mary asked.

"Well, for starters, what school do you go to?"

"We go to Forest Hills High School, "Henry said.

"What?"Bufkins asked. "Have you been to the high school?"

"What do you do?" Mary asked.

"I thought you were a car salesman," Mrs.Bufkins said in surprise.

"That was two years ago.Didn't I tell you I changed jobs?"Bufkins said in surprise.

"No,you didn't.You haven't told me anything for two years.

"Yup, I'm doing quite well, too,"Bufkins said.

"Then why am I working in a department store?" Mrs. Bufkins demanded.

"Oh, are you still working in department store? If Ihad known that,I would have told you could quit lastyear. You should have mentioned it,"Bufkins said.

There was more dead silence.Finally Henry said, "Hey, you want to hear me play guitar?"

"I'll be darned.You know how to play the guitar?Say, didn't I have a daughter who played the guitar?"

"That was Susie , "Mrs.Bufkins said.

"Where is she?"

"She got married a year ago, just about the time you were watching the World Series."

纽约市林山区布福金斯家的电视突然关闭,顿时一阵恐慌。布福金斯首先想到的是起居室里他那台电视,于是他一个箭步奔进卧室,打开那台电视。上面什么图像也没有。这时,电话铃响了起来。布福金斯太太听到是她的妹妹说发生了无线电通讯中断。她挂上电话,对丈夫说:“不是你的电视问题。是帝国大厦顶部发生了故障。”

布福金斯问:“你是谁?”

“我是你的妻子爱迪丝呀。”

“噢,”布福金斯说,“那么,我想那里的两个孩子都是我的吧。”

“说的对,”布福金斯太太说,“如果你离开电视机前的那把扶手椅,你就会认识我们了。”

“噢,他们的确已经长大了,”布福金斯说着,看了看两个儿女。“他们现在几岁了?”

“一个13岁,一个14岁,”布福金斯太太回答说。

“我真该死!你们好,孩子们。”

“他是谁?”布福金斯的儿子亨利问。

“那是你的父亲,”布福金斯太太说。

“很高兴见到你,”布福金斯的女儿玛丽面带羞涩地说。四周一片寂静,令人非常尴尬。

“嗨,”布福金斯最后说,“我知道自己不配做一名父亲,但既然电视现在停了,我想补偿你们一下。”

“怎么补偿?”亨利问。

“噢,我们就聊聊天吧,”布福金斯说,“这是我们增进了解的最好方法。”

“你想聊什么?”玛丽问。

“呃,作为小学生,你们上的是哪所学校?”

“我们都上林山高级中学了,”亨利说。

“怎么?”布福金斯问,“你们都已经上中学了?”

“你干什么工作?”玛丽问道。

“我想你是汽车推销员吧,”布福金斯太太惊讶地说。

“那是两年前的事了。我没有给你说过我已经换工作了吗?”布福金斯吃惊地说。

“没有,你没有说过。两年了,你什么也没对我说过。”

“对,我一直干得很好,”布福金斯说。

“那我为什么要每天去百货商店上班呢?”布福金斯太太厉声说道。

“噢,你还在百货商店上班?”布福金斯说,“早知道这样,去年我就会告诉你辞掉那份工作的。你应该对我说一下才是。”

又是一片死寂。最后,亨利开口说道:“嘿,你想听我弹吉他吗?”

“我真该死。你知道怎样弹吉他吗?喂,我不是有个会弹吉他的女儿吗?”

“那是苏茜,”布福金斯太太说。

“她在哪里?”

“她一年前就出嫁了,就是在你坐在电视机前观看世界职业棒球锦标赛那天。”