最艰难的抉择

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刘 鹏、朱一童 译校

I went for a long run on Saturday morning, and it was a glorious early-fall day.The air was cool and clear, there was almost no traffic, and the trees were just beginning to turn.I had found a new route that went almost entirely through wooded areas, and the beauty of the area was amazing.It would have been a perfect run if it hadn’t been for the chipmunk that Ifound on the road.

It looked like it had been hit by a car because it couldn’t move anything behind its midsection.It was clawing at the road with its front legs and looking around itself, but it simply couldn’t move.

All of a sudden, I was faced with a dilemma that I didn’t even want to consider.I could do one of two things―I could continue running and leave the animal there on the road to suffer a great deal until it either starved to death, got run over by another car, or got eaten by some predator, or I could do the humane thing and kill it and put it out of its misery.I didn’t want to do either, of course, but I had to choose.

And the worst option for me was the best thing for the chipmunk.

Now, if I were a farmer or a rancher, this decision would have been very simple.People who live and work with animals tend to have a very realistic vision of life and death, and they know that sometimes death is absolutely necessary.

But I haven’t lived with animals my whole life―in fact, I’ve had very few pets. Then I was out there alone on the road with a small animal that needed me to make a decision, one that I never before had had to make.And while I try my hardest to respect all life and let living creatures be, I knew in my heart that the only thing to do was to kill the chipmunk.So I did, in the way that I thought would be the least painful to the animal that already was in a lot of pain (I won’t go into the details).

As I ran away, I started to think of how suddenly the need to make a choice had come upon me, and how often such things happen.If we find out that a friend is doing something illegal, do we tell his or her family, or the police?If we know that a spouse has stolen from his or her workplace, do we report it?Life is full of decisions that come upon us because of someone else’s actions or inaction, and we have to be able to make those decisions that will allow us to live with clear consciences, if we’re to continue to be the people we’re meant to be.

Not all of the decisions are easy, especially when both of the options available to us are unpleasant. I could have asked someone driving by to run over the animal, but I know that if I had, I would have passed on a responsibility that I knew was mine, and mine alone.While I found the experience of killing a poor little animal to be extremely unpleasant, I knew all the time that I was doing something kind, not harmful, and that it was the best of all possible choices.Running away from the dilemma would have left me with a great deal of regret, knowing that I had left it there to suffer for who knows how long.

Now I wonder if the chipmunk is going to visit me in a nightmare, but I don’t think it will.I believe its suffering ended long before it would have otherwise, and I’m pretty sure that I did the right thing.The hardest choices usually aren’t as clear-cut as this one was, and if the choice involves other people, they often will try to make you live to regret doing the right thing.But if your conscience is clear, you can stand strong in the face of all criticism, knowing that you’ve done what you know to be right.

The hardest choices so often come upon us out of the blue, as the result of no actions of our own.All of a sudden we find ourselves having to decide between two or three alternatives, all of which are unpleasant.But which choice is the highest choice?Which choice will bring the most legitimate benefits to the most people?Which choice truly is right?Your mind can rationalize all it wants, but your heart and spirit will tell you the truth.Listen to the truth, and live by it.The choices have to be made, one way or another.

周六清晨我出门长跑。恰逢早秋时节清朗的一天，空气凉爽、清新，路上几乎没有什么车辆，树木刚刚开始变换颜色。我发现了一条新路线，几乎可以穿过整个林区，一路上的美景令人惊羡不已。要不是路遇花栗鼠，本来会是一次很完美的长跑。

看来这只花栗鼠被车撞过，腹部以下都不能动了。它用前腿拼命地抓地，环顾四周，可是一点也动不了。

突然之间，我面临着甚至不容我仔细考虑的艰难抉择。两条路我只能选一种：要么继续跑，让花栗鼠继续躺在路上忍受巨大的痛苦，直到饿死，或是被另一辆汽车压过，或是被其他掠食者吃掉；要么发发慈悲，结束它的生命，让它从痛苦中解脱出来。当然，这两样都不是我想做的，可是又别无选择。

对我来说是最坏的选择，对花栗鼠来说是最好的结果。

如果我是农夫或者牧场主，做这个决定会很容易。与动物一起生活和工作的人对生和死的看法往往很现实，他们知道有时候死亡是完全必要的。

但是我一生都不曾与动物一起生活，实际上我很少养宠物。当时路上只有我一个人，还有一只小动物，它需要我做出我以前从未做过的决定。尽管我想尽最大努力尊重一切生命，让所有的生命都能活下去，内心却深知唯一可行的办法就是结束花栗鼠的生命。因此我不得不采取了一种自认为最没有疼痛感的方式，结束了这只已经处于巨大痛苦之中的花栗鼠的生命（我不想介绍细节）。

我渐渐跑远了，开始思考要我做出这样的抉择是多么突然，以及这种事情发生的频率。如果发现朋友正在做违法的事，我们是告诉其家人还是告诉警察？如果我们知道配偶偷了单位的东西，会举报吗？由于其他人的作为或是不作为，在生活中我们要随时做出各种决定。如果我们想继续努力，成为心目中理想的人物，我们就要做出那些问心无愧的决定。

不是所有的决定都很容易做，特别是当可供我们选择的两项都令人不快的时候。我本来可以对躺在路上的花栗鼠置之不理，等着汽车从它身上压过去。但是我知道，如果这样做，就是把本应该由自己承担的责任推给别人。尽管我发现杀死一只可怜的小动物让人很难受，但是我自始至终都很清楚自己是在行善，并非伤天害理，而且我的做法是所有抉择中最好的一种。我如果逃离当时的困境，将会留下沉痛的悔恨，后悔让花栗鼠躺在路上，不知还要忍受多少痛苦。

现在我不知道花栗鼠会不会到噩梦里找我，但是我想不会。我相信与其他方式相比，这种方式让花栗鼠更早摆脱了痛苦，我确信我的做法是对的。最艰难的抉择通常不会像这件事那样轮廓清晰，如果还涉及其他人，别人的干扰经常会使你虽然做了正确的决定却生活在悔恨之中。但是只要你问心无愧，就能够面对各种批评而傲然挺立，因为你知道自己所做的是正确的。

最艰难的抉择总是在突然之间降临，因为此前我们没有及时采取行动。突然之间，我们发现自己要在两三个选项中做出决定，每一项都令人不快。但是哪一个抉择最好？哪一个抉择会给绝大多数人带来真正的好处？哪一个抉择确实是正确的？你的大脑会根据自身需要编出合理的理由，但是你的内心和你的心灵会告诉你真理。听信真理，坚持真理。总之，无论如何都要做出抉择。