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习作要求

生命在于运动，健康离不开合理饮食。请同学们观察下面图中小男孩Frank暑假期间、以后几个月的活动方式及最终造成的结果。以“How snack changed a boy!”为题，适当发挥，写一篇英语短文。

思路点拨

本写作属于看图写话。要写好文章，首先应该观察好图画内容，然后用准确、规范、流畅的语言描述出来。我们可以看到，图中的Frank 在暑假期间进行各种体育活动，因此身体瘦且健康，但暑假后四个月，经常边看电视、玩电脑，边吃各种零食，结果体重大增，身体臃肿。图中故事是按时间顺序出示的，因此写作时也应按此顺序。

学生习作

How snack changed a boy!

沂南县双堠中学 庆 瑞

In summer, Frank is active and healthy. He plays (1)the soccer, basketball, and baseball, and goes swimming, so he has a lot (2)exercise. In September he does not exercise much. He eats some chips after school while he sits in front of the TV. In October, he eats ice cream while he sits at the computer. In November, he eats (4)much cookies while he watches TV. In December, he eats French fries while he sits at the computer again. He gets much (4)heavy than summer. He is not healthy as he is in the summer.

教师点评

庆瑞同学观察图画比较细致，中心把握比较到位，叙述也比较全面，行文逻辑性强，结构清晰，语言比较准确。不足之处是叙述几个月的活动时句式比较单一，缺乏灵活性。此外还有几处错误，修改如下。

(1) play后跟球类名词时，不加任何冠词，因此应该去掉the。

(2) exercise在本句中是名词，其前的修饰短语应该用 a lot of，因此exercise前应该加上of。

(3) much修饰不可数名词，many修饰可数名词。本句中cookies是可数名词，其前的much应改为many。

(4) 句中有than，所以heavy应用比较级形式heavier。

下面是另一个同学的文章，时态有所不同、句式灵活，多有变化，过渡自然，条理性更强，而且用上了本学段的主要句型，感彩比较浓厚，而且进行适当的评论，对同学们进行了规劝。同学们可以比较一下，亦可有所启发。

同题作文

During the summer, Frank was active. He exercised often. He played soccer, basketball, and baseball, and went swimming. So he was thin and healthy. But after summer, things changed. In September, he exercised less. He ate lots of chips after school while he sat in front of the TV. In October, he had ice cream while he played the computer games. In November, he had cookies while he watched TV. He weighs a little more. In December, he ate much French fries while he sat at the computer again. What was the result? Look! He was fatter and heavier. Frank’s story tolls us we should do more sports to keep healthy.