女儿写给父亲的一封信

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Dear Dad，

Today I was at the shopping mall and I spent a lot of time reading the Father’s Day cards. They all had a special message that in some way or another reflected how I feel about you. Yet as I selected and read，and selected and read again，it occurred to me that not a single card said what I really want to say to you.

You’ll soon be 84 years old，Dad，and you and I will have had 55 Father’s Days together. I haven’t always been with you on Father’s Day nor have I been with you for all of your birthdays. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to be with you. I’ve always been with you in my heart but sometimes life gets in the way.

You know，Dad，there was a time when we were not only separated by the generation gap but completely polarized by it. You stood on one side of the Great Divide and I on the other. Father and daughter split apart by age and experience，opinions，hairstyles，cosmetics，clothing， curfews and music.

Our relationship improved immensely when I married a man you liked，and things really turned around when we left. We didn’t have a television set，you know，and we had to entertain ourselves somehow. I didn’t know what to expect of you and Mom as grandparents but I didn’t have to wait long to find out. Those babies adored you then just as they adore you now. When I see you with all your grandchildren，I know you’ve given them the finest gift a grandparent can give. You’ve given them yourself.

Somewhere along the line，the generation gap evaporated. Age separates us now and little else. We agree on most everything，perhaps because we’ve learned there isn’t much worth disagreeing about. However，I would like to mention that fly fishing isn’t all you’ve cracked it up to be，Dad. You can say what you want about wrist action and stance and blah，blah，blah.

I’ve been happily drifting for a lot of years，Dad，and I didn’t see you getting older.

I suppose I saw us and our relationship as aging together，rather like a fine wine. But the oddest thing happened last week. I was at a stop sign and I watched as you turned the corner in your car. It didn’t immediately occur to me that it was you because the man driving looked so elderly and fragile behind the wheel of that huge car. It was rather like a slap in the face delivered from out of nowhere. Perhaps I saw your age for the first time that day.

Fifty years ago this spring we planted kohlrabi together in a garden in Charles City，Iowa. I didn’t know then that I would remember that day for the rest of my life. This week，we’ll plant kohlrabi together again. I don’t understand why planting kohlrabi with you is so important to me but it is. I don’t even like kohlrabi but I like planting it with you.

I guess what I’m trying to say，Dad，is what every son and daughter wants to say to their dad today. Honoring a father on Father’s Day is about more than a dad who brings home a paycheck，shares a dinner table，and attends school functions，graduations，and weddings. It isn’t even so much about kohlrabi，and fly-fishing. It’s more about unconditionally loving children who are snotty and stubborn，who know everything and won’t listen to anyone. It’s about respect and sharing and acceptance and tolerance and giving and taking. It’s about loving someone more than words can say，and it’s wishing that it never had to end.

I love you，Dad.

Your loving daughter

Sara

亲爱的爸爸：

今天我在商场的时候，读了好长时间的有关父亲节的贺卡。那些卡片上面的文字很特别，也或多或少地表达出了我对您的感受。我挑选读过一遍后，又挑选读了一遍，但并不是一张贺卡就能表达出我想对您说的话。

爸爸，很快您就要84岁了，您和我也将度过这第55个父亲节。父亲节那天，我不能每次都和您在一起，连您过生日的时候也是这样，但这并不是因为我不想陪在您的身边。其实，在我心里，我总是和您在一起。不过，有的时候，我会被生活所累。

爸爸，您也知道，我们父女俩曾有一段时间因为代沟不在一起过，比如年龄、阅历、观点、发型、化妆、服装、音乐以及作息时间。因为这些，我们的观点也非常对立。您站在“大分离”的一端，我站在“大分离”的另一端。

在我嫁了一个您喜欢的女婿后，我们俩之间的关系才缓和了很多。后来，我们离开了，我们之间的那些事情也就结束了。这事您也知道，因为没有电视看，我们就只好自娱自乐了。我不知道我还能对作为外公外婆的您和妈妈抱什么期望，但是，不用等很久，我就会找到答案。过去那些孩子热爱您，现在他们还像以前那样热爱您。当我看见您和您的外孙们在一起的时候，我知道您已经给了他们最好的礼物，您把心都掏给他们了。

就是这样，您和我之间的代沟慢慢消失了。现在年龄和其他一些问题的差异把您和我分开，可我们在很多事情上的看法都是一样的，这可能是因为我们明白了没有那么多的事情值得我们争辩吧。然而，我想提示一下的是，爸爸，飞蝇钓鱼是您最喜欢的一种钓法，您可以说些您想做的手腕动作、站姿和一些没有用的话。

爸爸，虽然我已经漂泊很多年了，但是我很快乐，而且我发现您没有变老，还是那么年轻。

随着年龄的增长，我认为您和我之间的关系慢慢地融洽了很多，就像是一瓶好酒，越陈越香。但是，上周发生了一件最奇怪的事情。我站在停车标志旁，看见您开着车要拐弯。可是，我并没有立刻反应到那是您。因为那个人开着车，又在那部大车的车轮后面，就显得他岁数很大，身体也很虚弱的样子。可我好像感到不知道从哪里飞来一记耳光，重重地打在我的脸上。也许，那是我第一次“看见”您的年龄。

50年前的一个春天，我们在爱荷华州查理斯市的一个花园一起栽下苤蓝菜。当时，我也不知道我以后会怀念那一天。这一周，我们还要在一起栽苤蓝菜。我不明白为什么我和您一起栽苤蓝菜我会感到很有意义，可事实上就是有意义。我不喜欢苤蓝菜，但是我喜欢和您一起栽苤蓝菜。

爸爸，我想我要说的话是每个做儿女的今天想和他们的爸爸说的话。过父亲节，给父亲这么大一个荣誉，决不是因为爸爸给家里挣了多少钱，和家人一起共进晚餐，参加学校活动，参加毕业典礼和婚礼，也不只是一起栽苤蓝菜和飞蝇钓鱼的事，也不只是您毫无理由地爱那些流鼻涕又很淘气，而且什么都懂，就是不听话的小孩。这就是尊重对方，分享快乐，认同和忍受他人，给予和接受吧。您对别人的爱也是不能用言语来表达的，希望这些永不终止。

爸爸，我爱您。

爱您的女儿

莎拉

（责任编校 彭益）